


The Law of Tomorrow

by ByronicoConMoto



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst to come but HEA guarantee, Baby may be kind of a surprise, Ben had to be an actual fascist here sorry, Brief antisemitic remarks, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Forbidden Love, Italian Resistance, Mentions of concentration camps and the holocaust (not graphic), POV Ben Solo, POV Rey (Star Wars), Slow Burn, What do we say to fascists? Not today!, World War II
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:20:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24027283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ByronicoConMoto/pseuds/ByronicoConMoto
Summary: When Rey is sweeped up in the fight against fascism her secluded life is turned completely upside down and the dangers which seemed far away become very tangible and very personal.- An italian resistance Reylo AU -
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 54
Kudos: 33





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the second world war a young family starts to revive the events which brought them together.

# Prologue

  


[ ](https://imgur.com/mo3gAuH)

  


**Geneva, 1955**

  


“Daddy!” - Calls the dark haired boy excitedly from inside the bedroom – “Look what I found! Isn’t this you and mommy?”

The sun shines bright from outside as he lies belly down on the bed.

“What is it, sweetheart?” asks his similarly dark haired father while poking his head from the door, a fountain pen in his right hand.

“Look at these pictures!” – The boy says while standing up to drag him by the hand –“You look different, but it’s you, isn’t it?” he asks while finally settling down again on the bed.

His father chuckles, bemused by the boy’s excitement, sits down beside him and looks down at the pictures, three black and white portraits of a couple on their wedding day, the pen he held rolls on the floor. The groom has dark hair, he is tall and a scar runs down the upper right part of his face while the bride is white clad, her hair styled in a crown braid adorned with a variety of gentle flowers. In one shot she cradles her belly protectively, a proud look in her eyes while one of the groom’s hands cups hers, his eyes barely containing the wide smile on his face. The second picture shows the couple locked in a tender embrace, forehead to forehead, while the third, and last, was definitely taken on a different occasion and features the two of them bruised, battered, their clothes and hair in a horrific state, but most evidently beaming with joy in a mountain field. His bare feet apart, firmly rooted in the grass, the man holds the smiling young woman in his arms, with one hand she holds on to his neck and with the other she waves a small piece of tricolour fabric.

“Oh” – mutters the man – “Where did you find these?” he asks.

“I was looking for one of my soldiers in the trunk there” – the boy points to the wooden crate which lays open at the feet of the bed – “and I saw a small packet with them at the very bottom of it. So is it you then, dad? Is that you and mummy?”

The man sighs and looks away, clutching the photographs a bit harder, then hugs the boy, to hide his face, or so he hopes. The boy looks up and strokes his scar.

“You never told me about it” – he whispers, “I’m sure it’s an exciting story!” 

“Well, my boy, you’re about to be 10 years old, I think it’s time you knew …”

“Hello there! Where are you darlings?” a voice calls, interrupting him.

“Mama!” yells the boy, and rushes out of the room.

Sitting still on the bed the dark haired man sees the two embrace across the corridor, the woman lifting up her son to kiss him then taking him by the hand, looking for her husband, the knitted bag of groceries forgotten in front of the door.

“Ben?” – She seems puzzled when she enters the room soon after, the corridor is very short after all.

“Come, sit near me you two!” he smiles. “Rey, darling, the boy found these…” – he extends the pictures to her. Her eyes widen and tears sparkle in them.

“I thought we had lost these forever!” she says. A hand reaches out to caress her husband’s cheek.

“Don’t you think he’s ready to know?” Ben says, intently searching her eyes. “I do, actually!” she agrees, “It’s a long story though! Little fella, don’t be impatient if you want to know it all!”.

“I do! I do!” – screams the boy leaving his mother to start jumping up and down on the bed.

“There, there, don’t you ruin the mattress!” Ben says, gentle but firm. He looks at Rey, takes her hand and kisses the back of it, she smiles at him and they seem in their own world for a long moment before the boy jumps back to his mother’s neck to hug her from behind and plaster a noisy kiss on her cheek.

“We’ll do it after dinner, Ian, now be good boys you two and come help mummy cook! I have all it takes for a nice tomato sauce to add to our pasta” – she winks.

Ian rushes to the bag of groceries and picks it up to bring it to the room at the other end of the corridor, grunting and panting under the weight, his parents laughing at his efforts while following.

“Rey” - Ben takes her hand and stops her – “Are you sure?”

“Of course I am, it’s his story too” – Rey says, tucking a loose curl of his long hair behind his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Thank you SO MUCH if you decided to read until here and if you will continue this journey with me. This work was insipred by my *hm* very deep feelings for Rey and Kylo/Ben and by the respect I feel for the brave people who freed my country from fascism! The title of the fic is a verse from one of the most famous italian partisan songs ["Dalle belle città" [From the beautiful cities]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGEy-AJ6Eug&feature=youtu.be).


	2. We are the rebels up the mountain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is a lonely girl who lives up the mountains of Piedmont, in Northern Italy, when she meets a young boy who needs her help. She is meant to stay away for a day. Little she knows this is only the beginning of her journey.

# Chapter 1

# We are the rebels up the mountain

[ ](https://imgur.com/5hD0LS8)

**September 1943**

Rey takes a deep breath and slowly disentangles herself from the prickly woollen blanket, stretching her arms. She had just been awakened by a rogue ray of sun coming through a hole in the wooden window shutter and the singing of morning birds. She felt like the one beginning was going to be a good day.

Now fully awake she briskly stands up, shivering despite the thick shawl and quickly adds shoes over her similarly thick socks to run to the washstand, on the other side of the room. She knew it was not the prettiest stand, but she was definitely very proud of the wonky little thing having built it herself. She carefully pours some water from the pitcher in the bowl and washes her face while humming a tune she did not even know how she knew. Her apparent serenity was a rare occurrence and for some reason she had not even taken conscience of it yet. She dries herself up with a small towel then dresses, a pair of brown trousers, a simple yellow blouse and a dark, worn out but warm jacket, the chilly morning making her blow on her hands. She opens the window blinds, the sun now brighter up in the sky, then nudges the small pieces of burnt out wood in the stove and the fire pit, adding some thin branches and blowing on them to help the flame rise again. “Come on, come on” – Rey encourages the feeble dancing flames – “I’ve still got so much to do!”. And indeed she had, her five needy goats were already calling for her from outside the door.

“I’m coming” she shouts, scowling at her bowl of brown bread soaking in warm milk, rushing to them soon afterwards, like she did every day since she was six years old. “Will you be quiet for a second!” she yells after bursting the door open. “Wha…”

A boy, not older than eleven she assesses, dressed in a pair of dirty brown trousers all teared up around his bare ankles, and what would have been a white shirt with a couple of black and orange flower embroideries around the neckline, was trying to convince one of her goats to let herself be milked.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” Rey frowns.

“Sorry, ma’am, I was so hungry! Ouch!” the goat, seeing him distracted, had succeeded in avenging herself upon the stranger, biting his hand.

“Come, I’ve got some bread and some milk”. Rey laughs, the goats are cunning little creatures! The boy nods tentatively, not daring to believe his luck and in a few steps covers the distance to the door of Rey’s small stone cottage.

A few minutes later he’s licking the bowl from the reminders of Rey’s breakfast, the girl is sitting opposite him, so hungry she almost regrets giving it to him, almost.

“So, tell me, what are you doing here around all alone young boy, are you lost?” she asks, genuinely curious, she usually only meets the man she sells her milk to, down at the village. “What’s your name?”

He lays the bowl on the rough wooden surface of the table, his eyes crossed by a shadow.

“I’m… well my name is Beniamino, but everyone calls me Bibí, I got lost in the forest after the farmhouse I live in got raided. I lost my father, I…” - his eyes start to water - “I have something with me, something important, and I need to go to a certain place before dusk, but now, I don’t think I even know where I am!”. His shoulders drop and a single tear starts falling down his left cheek. “Well, thank you I must get going now” - he raises from the chair and stoically refuses to acknowledge his tears.

“What? Hey, it is too dangerous out there Bibí, let me help you! I know the woods around here better than anyone else I think!”.

Rey starts packing a big chunk of bread, she pours some of the clean water from her washstand into a flask, and she puts them with her knife inside a satchel, the boy not believing his luck again. “There!” – She exclaims, picking up a staff and a large, floppy hat – “Let’s go”. The boy follows her outside, trying to keep up with her brisk walk, Rey throws the goats some fruit then the two go around the house entering the thick wood.

“So, where do you need to go?" - Rey asks. Bibí does not answer. "Oh, I’m sorry about your father Bibí, I know exactly what it feels like” she then says, slowing her pace a bit to allow him to come up beside her. “You see, I lost my parents a long time ago too, thrown in a dark hole of a prison somewhere I bet”. Bibí looks at her, his face is a mask of sorrow; they both had had to grow up too quickly. “Now, where to, young rascal?” – teases Rey. 

“Do you know that refuge, up of Dronero*? I’ve been told that’s where I have to go and that someone will wait for me there.”

“All right, yeah I know that, it’s a long walk but I think we can do it before dark!” - Says Rey, quickening her pace. The two walk for a dozen minutes without talking much more, tall trees sheltering them from view and from the sun, their ears well pricked to catch any odd sound.

“Bibí, what happened at your farmhouse?" - she queries - "It’s the first time I hear of such a thing happening around here”.

Bibí’s eyes darken.

“There were a ton of … them” - he murmurs – “It was night, and they were all black, and armed. They were looking for my dad, he is … He has always been quite open about not liking them. We, we were hiding in the barn but then one of them took Lore, an old man, no one really knows him, and he shouted that if my dad wouldn’t come out he’d start by Lore and he’d kill each and every one of us, one by one. Believe me, that one was terrifying, so tall, all black, even his eyes, pitch black. Dad gave me a packet, he told me to go to the refuge, to finish his mission then he…” – Bibí stops, his throat clogged – “He kissed me, he told me to run and not look back, so I did. The last thing I saw he was circled and that tall one had a gun to his head. I… I turned away and started running; all I could hear was a loud shout and rifles shooting, many of them. I ran, and ran, did not even know where I was going. I think I stopped running only when the sun came out.”

Bibí stops walking. Rey does too. Poor boy, Rey thinks, so young and already knows so much pain. She puts a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him, with the other she pulls him closer, holding him in a tight hug. She can feel him start to sob, his little body shaking violently. They both do not know for how long they stay like that, under the cool shadow of the trees, birds chirping away over them blissfully unaware of the horrors unfolding.

“Come” - says Rey – “Let’s go on”.

Bibí follows her along, the pathway is dry and stable, it hasn’t rained in a week. Soon they find it is getting steeper and steeper, and are grateful for the shadow the pines provide, wind rustling through them. A couple of hours later, panting for the climb, they find a nice, clear spot and share the bread Rey had brought along, and the water.

“Let's lie down a bit” - suggests Rey – “We have plenty of time!”.

And so they do, the grass and the flowers tickling their skin and small insects buzzing all around. Aside from the natural sounds the silence is complete, the hardships of the latest war years and the months of chaos that the Anglo-American and German invasions had brought elsewhere, well afar, until now at least. The people who lived in the villages spread over the valley had all scattered around the more isolated huts and cottages, leaving the villages almost empty. Rey was alone, didn’t have much, the house was the milkman’s in exchange for the milk she provided to him three times a week, she had no one to lose, as a woman no uniform to don, so the war, which she followed through the sparse news she could hear at the village, was distant and muffled. Besides, she couldn’t vote, she was too young, too poor, too little educated, and the wrong sex for that.

Suddenly a crackling noise startles her and the boy. She brings a finger to her lips to signal him to stay silent; he nods and she strengthens the hold on her staff, ready to strike. Hiding behind a big, leafy oak, they see a man approaching. He’s not too tall and he is wearing a pair of black trousers, a black shirt peeps from under his loosened black jacket, a bit too light for the mountain weather, Rey considers. He’s walking quickly and does not seem too steady on his feet, he keeps looking back and his face is partially hidden under a black hat, his breaths are short and noisy. When he reaches them, Rey jumps out from behind the tree and hits him on his neck with her staff, easily knocking him over.

“Who are you?” - She shouts. The man slowly turns around, a hand where she had hit him, visibly in pain.

“Ouch” – he exclaims.

Rey’s eyes widen with surprise, her mouth shaped in a silent “Oh” while Bibí joins the two. The man was dark skinned!

“Well, thanks for that!” – He says bitterly, managing to get up again - “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Who are you?” – Rey asks a second time, circling around him, ready to strike again. She could see his empty holster. He wasn’t carrying a gun but could have a knife or something else! She was both wary and curious; a dark skinned Militiaman mustn’t have been common, what with the racial laws in force since 1938.

“I, uh…” - he doesn’t know what to say – “Look, I’m not what you think I am. I am not from the Militia! I mean, I was, I’m not anymore, I just…It’s complicated, all right? Please let me go!”.

“Right, how am I supposed to believe you?” – Rey cuts back. He does seem to be telling the truth though. “We just want to be left alone!” – She says.

“Good, so do I!” - he answers.

“Good!” agrees Rey, and lowers her staff. They circle each other again, not wanting to turn their shoulders to the stranger on their path. Bibí is hiding behind Rey. They then start walking backwards for a bit. He finally turns around and starts heading away, but when Rey and Bibí are about to do the same he stops.

“Are you from around here by any chance?” – He says, and Rey notices a darker patch on his jacket. Maybe blood.

“Why, what do you need?” - Rey's eyes narrow with suspicion.

“I need to reach the refuge; I was told it’s not too far from here but I got lost”. Not believing their ears Rey and Bibí look at each other.

“Well, this might be your lucky day, perhaps we know how to go there, but no surprises, all right?” - She extends her right hand.

“I promise!” – He shakes it. So now they are three, and Rey leads the way again. They don’t talk much, they don’t really share things about themselves, all of them convinced this would be the first and last time they meet each other. It is not until it is almost dusk, their feet hurt and their breath is short that they stop for a brief pause. Even for them, fit and young, the climb is hard. Luckily, the trees never fail to hide them from view, but there is no other chance encounter. The air is getting colder and all three are eager to end the journey. Soon after their short break, on the right side of the path the trees start to be sparser. A small, rectangular building, wonky and ugly, appears in the distance of a field. It looks like it is carved out from the bare rock above it and it is just an appendage of the mountain. It looks empty and lonely. Its stone roof is green with moss and lichen, the bare spots of slate shine in the evening sun. Rey pats Bibí on the shoulder, pointing at the house:

“There you go, little rascal, that’s it!”. Bibí starts running, elated by having reached the place.

“Wait, no!” - Yells the stranger, running after him – “Slow down!”. Startled by the man’s reaction Rey takes a moment to realize what is happening then follows in his steps, her heart beating fast, a sense of incoming danger dampening her collar with drops of cold sweat. As soon as the boy leaves the cover of the trees, a barrage of gunshots breaks the silence. Horror deforming her face Rey sees Bibí fall down. The stranger reaches him and shields him with his own body, then he pulls out a white handkerchief, waving it in the direction of the shots. By the time she reaches them, all is silent again. Rey drops on her knees near the boy :

“No, no, no…” – the grass is stained with red. She searches his body, frantically looking for wounds. His right foot is a pool of blood. Bibí is uncoscious.

“Keep him still” – says their companion. He undresses then quickly rips his shirt, tying a strip of fabric tightly around the boy’s calf.

“Hey, there! You! Identify!” Three armed men are approaching them across the field. Rey gets up.

“You cowards!” – She snarls – “Couldn’t you see it was a child?”. She hears the boy start to wiggle and cry loudly behind her, while the dark skinned man takes him in his arms.

“Take him inside” – the three men have now reached them - “We can heal him” - says the one in the middle, the shortest of the three. They all look rough and like they need sleep. All three of them carry a rifle across their chest. They guide them back to the refuge while Bibí’s cries become louder and louder. As soon as they get inside a dozen other men join them in the room where they bring the boy.

“There!” – The man who had talked before points to a large table, which lies right in the centre of it. He cuts Bibí’s shoe and looks at the wound. “Give me water, alcohol and clean cloths” – he orders – “Now!”. The things he asked for quickly appear in his hands.

Half an hour later the boy lies unconscious from the pain but his foot has clean bandages.

“I took out the bullet and disinfected the wound” – the man says Rey – “Now we can only hope it heals well. What the hell where you thinking letting him run like that?”

“Don’t you dare!” - She snaps back at him – “I was just helping him get here, he has something for you!”. The man looks at her, surprised:

“What? For us?”. Rey shrugs, unsure what to answer. She feels weak, and all sticky. The man must perceive that because he offers her some fresh water to drink which she gladly accepts. She looks around for the first time while sitting down on the bench near the table where Bibí lies. The onlookers have now scattered, resuming their tasks. She remembers of the dark skinned stranger who had travelled with them, looks for him in the room, she sees him talking to the others, a grim expression on his face and a new shirt on. When his eyes meet hers his lips twist in a faint smile. He excuses himself and joins her on the bench.

“Do you think he’ll be alright?” – He asks.

“I hope so” – sighs Rey. She sees his right hand reach out towards her.

“I’m Finn, by the way, and sorry for scaring you!”

Rey takes his hand.

“Rey, and I’m the one who should apologize…”

A tap on the shoulder interrupts her.

“We’ll take him on a bed, Miss” - says the man who had healed Bibí - “I’m Lupo* [Wolf] by the way, nice to meet you”.

The room they bring him in is small, the ceiling as low as the other rooms’. Two beds fill it almost completely, a man is sitting on one, head between his hands, his right shoulder is bandaged. He lifts his head when he hears them get in and soon looks away, then jumps, quick as lightning, and rushes to the boy

“Bibí! Oh God, my poor boy! What happened?” he asks, anguished.

“We saw him running towards the refuge sir, we thought…Well he got shot,” - says Lupo - “We didn’t know, Dameron, we're so sorry...”

The man strokes the boy’s hand then yells, his voice booming in the small room:

“If you cannot tell a child from a foe what use do you have in my Squadron, you fools! You shot my son!”

He looks like he’s about to jump to his throat, and Rey doesn’t doubt he’d be capable of it from the look in his eyes, but it’s the man’s words which stun her. He’s Bibí’s father! He’s alive!

“And who are those?” Dameron’s angry snarl brings her back to the present, he is pointing at her and Finn.

"I was just helping him get here, Sir, he was lost,” Rey explains. The man slightly relaxes. When his gaze meets Finn, Dameron’s eyes narrow. He leaves his son’s side and gets closer to him. The two remind Rey of animals studying each other to decide if to attack, a low hum makes Bibí’s father’s throat tremble lightly.

“I will need you to explain your situation to my men very convincingly, or else you are not going to end well, that’s for sure”.

Finn swallows. Then, as suddenly as it had started the moment of tension is gone. Finn and Rey are whisked out of the room by Lupo.

“If you want to stay, you will have to make yourself at least useful” – he explains – “You can go help in the kitchen, and you, come with me”.

Typical, Rey thinks, just because I’m a woman everyone assumes I’m skilled at cooking, if only they knew! A smirk twists her lips for a second while navigating the crowded building. A noisier area attracts her attention, a group of ten men occupy it, and that’s where she sees two men cutting some potatoes and a stove with a bubbling pot over it. Rey suddenly realizes she is the only woman, a drop between a sea of at least thirty, she approximately calculated while in the building, young, and even less young, men. She clears her throat. As she expected all the heads turn to look at her.

“Excuse me, Lupo has ordered me to help with supper” – she is met with hungry, indiscreet looks. She feels her whole body being scrutinized inch by inch. Head high she goes near the table and starts peeling a potato with a knife, which was lying there unused, trying to ignore the twenty pair of eyes still looking at her. It takes another moment but finally they all resume their conversations and she is left to face just the two of them. 

“I’m Rey” – she introduces herself.

She does not stop peeling the potato, the less excuses they have to touch her, the better. The shorter one, fair haired and thin, takes the cue first:

“I am “Cit” [Little], and he is “Fulmine” [Lightning]. Excuse us, we are not used to seeing many women around here, safe for a couple of the dispatchers.”

Rey shrugs.

“It’s okay, but don’t get used to it. As soon as I know the little one is safe I will leave.” She points the knife at him jokingly. The evening goes by with the men enjoying the stew Rey and her new acquaintances had cooked. Three of the men are on patrol so the three chosen to later replace them quickly eat their portion and leave in order to allow their comrades to eat too. Candles light the room, but just enough not to bump into anything. The blinds are always on and any light or loud noise is strictly forbidden, the house must look like it’s empty to an unknowing eye. Later, when most of them are scattered across the floor and on the benches, Lupo taps her on the shoulder again and whispers to Rey that Bibí is awake. Rey quickly fetches a plate and brings some of the stew upstairs.

“You were so brave baby, I’m so proud of you!” - Dameron is telling him while clutching him tight to his chest. Rey stops by the door, unsure what to do. Fortunately, Dameron spots her before she has to decide.

“Hm, I was bringing something to eat” - She extends her arm so he can take the plate and turns away as soon as Dameron holds it. The boy smiles at her.

“Thank you so much. For everything.” he says.

“You’re welcome, I really did nothing special”

“Of course you did! And I will always be grateful.”

Rey can feel the tenderness resonating in his voice and for a second she finds swallowing difficult. 

“You can call me Poe, by the way, and sorry I think I forgot your name...” – he starts feeding a very quiet Bibí.

“It’s Rey”

“So, tell me more about you, Rey, how did you end up bringing this lucky rascal back to me?”

“Oh, its very simple actually, he was hungry and tried to steal milk from my goats, told me about what happened at your farmhouse last night and here I am!”

She sees Bibí visibly relax when she does not tell his father that she knows about his little mission. She winks and he smiles again.

“I see! Come; join me outside for a second. Bibí, be quiet. I will be back soon.”

He guides her outside through the now dark building. A gust of wind makes the hair at the back of her neck stand up with a shiver. One of the patrolling men is sitting right outside the door, smoking a very short cigarette. He gets up as soon as he sees his commander.

“So, Rey, I think you already understood what it is that we do here, didn’t you?” his tone low but still authoritative.

Rey gulps, again not sure what to say.

“I think you did.” - He insists.

Of course Rey had heard about them. Before the armistice, they were the traitors, the debauched who went against order and justice because they couldn’t see 'the beauty of the new world about to come'. Now that words have been replaced by acts, they were called the bandits. They were the unpatriotic, the cowards, the rebels. They were the partisans. She lowers her eyes:

“I did, yes”

“Can you understand Rey?" - Dameron starts - "Can you understand what we do? Many of us were soldiers, we fought for this country! What do we get now? The Nazis are everywhere. They kill, they rape, they burn. The brave men who fought in the war are killed in dozens because suddenly we are the enemy. We thought we would be protected, we were the heroes remember? But no. We were left completely alone! In shambles! The ones supposed to protect us handed us over to the Germans. Many will never come back.” His voice is now a hiss - "It's not only us soldiers now, though! Many are finally opening their eyes and joining us!" He pauses for a second. "You see this green neckerchief?" - He pulls the tails of the bright green fabric and waves them towards her - "It means we believe in democracy, in justice, in a true better world, not the crap the government fed people all these years with their newsreels. Mussolini is imprisoned but we need to defend our country. 'Rise up! Resurrect!' That is our motto! That is why we are here.” He raises a fist to the multitude of shining stars then starts pacing around her. “It is what I, and all of us here believe is right”

Rey is about to turn her head to follow his movements when something cold touches her nape and she hears the very distinct clicking of a gun getting ready to shoot. She raises her hands while cold sweat starts making her shiver in the night air. Her eyes widen, seeking help from the other man, but he just cocks his rifle and waits for orders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, this is the real beginning of the story. Hope you enjoyed and will continue the journey with me, I cannot wait to hear your feedback!
> 
> *The refuge of Dronero does exist but it was actually built much later in order to remember the fallen and is named after the brave partisan Benedetto Dalmastro on whose life I am loosely basing my version of Poe.
> 
> ** All partisans had battle names and called themselves by that, I will give them italian names but will provide translations for clarity. I also decided not to translate or change the charachter names despite them sounding funny in the context but I thought it better.
> 
> The title is again a verse from the song which gives its title to the story.


	3. Like leaves in autumn days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Rey is under Dameron's line of fire, Lieutenant Ren is on the hunt for the Commander.

# Chapter 2

# Like leaves in autumn days 

[ ](https://imgur.com/X83gLe3)

_“He did what?” – Ben jerks as if he had been slapped – “I knew I didn’t like that piece of…”_

_“Careful Ben, watch your language around Ian!” – Rey admonishes him. The boy chuckles._

_“Sorry, I mean I was never too keen on him, and you know it. Besides, you’re here now so I’m pretty sure he didn’t pull that trigger” – he smirks and Rey sniggers._

_“He definitely didn’t…” - Ian pulls his mother’s sleeve_

_“Mummy, you didn’t talk about father yet!”_

_“Be patient, and don’t worry, you will hear about him soon enough” – She shares a nervous look with Ben – “Now it’s time to sleep”_

_“But…”_

_“No buts” – Ben waves a finger over his face then jokingly flicks the tip of his nose._

_“All right” – Ian moans and sinks further under the blanket. Rey and Ben kiss him goodnight then start preparing for bed too. Their bathroom was almost too small to host both at once but neither of them minded the closeness or the accidental touches, not even after 10 years of marriage._

_“Rey…” – Ben’s voice shakes a little – “I want Ian to know, I don’t want to keep things from him, but…” – He sits down on the brink of the enamelled bathtub, the only real luxury of their small apartment – “I really think he is going to hate me”.  
“Ben, he could **never** hate you”_

_“He has not seen that part of me, Rey, and you know full well I wasn’t exactly restraining myself back then. Besides, what if he were to talk about it with somebody at school?”_

_Rey sighs, pondering her husband’s words._

_“Nobody has their hands clean, Ben. It was war. What matters is that you understood how awfully wrong and cruel your actions were. I am not going to lie; they will always be with you. I am certain though that you would make the right choices **now**. Besides, everyone already knows we are Italian and since the acquittal you are a free man. It’s going to be okay, don’t worry.”_

_“Yeah” - Ben concedes – “You are probably right”. He reaches out to her and holds her in a tight grip, his head resting on her abdomen. Rey takes his face between her hands and bends down to search his lips. When their mouths meet Ben's lips part in order to welcome Rey's soft touch._

_“Come” - She says - “Let’s go to bed.”_

_-_

Lieutenant General Ren of the _Voluntary Militia for National Security_ was striding down a desert corridor, a row of windows on his left and one of doors on his right. If anyone would have seen him in his grey uniform, the heels of his leather boots clacking loudly on the black and white tiles they would say he oozed confidence, and that he had an air of danger about him. His dark eyes, which fixed the object of his interest relentlessly, probably added to that, and so did his reputation. Starting out as a volunteer at just 16 years old he had climbed up the ranks and had become Lieutenant Major Snoke’s most trusted subordinate by the sheer effectiveness of his repressive actions towards dissidents. His latest incursion the night before, where he was supposed to stop munitions from reaching one of the quickly growing number of rebel squadrons, had failed. The munitions where nowhere to be found, not even with the _cooperation_ of Dameron, so it was to be assumed they had already been dispatched. Now he had to report to Snoke about his failure. He knocks on the last door of the corridor two times then straightens his black fez.

“Come in” – says a raspy voice, the familiar voice of his mentor. Kylo Ren lowers the handle, opens the door and enters the large room.

“Major” – Kylo salutes, clicking his heels and extending his right arm as it was customary – “I am here to report on my mission”. He lowers his arm waiting for Snoke to be done writing. The Major scribbles a few moments more, lays the pen on the table, gets up, puts both his arms on the large, crowded desk in front of him, and finally looks up to his protégé.

He certainly cuts a commanding figure. Nobody usually notices though that his left eye is actually made from glass. Oh, how he loved to tell the story of when he lost it during the conquest of Addis Abeba ten years before.

“Your mission, eh?” – He sniggers – “General Hux has told me all about it. Do not worry, my boy, we will find ways to make up for your mistake. I have more important news to relay, come, and sit in front of me.” Taking off his fez to place it in the hollow of his elbow, Kylo sits on the right one of two red cushioned chairs. His movements and his speech are restrained, his breathing too, as if he is making his best not to be noticed. Snoke looms over his man.

“News has reached me that soon we will see the end of the slaughter of our men. Our fearless Leader has been able to end the conflict with our former allies of the Third Reich. We have lost many men this last months but the Italian Empire will rise again, as a phoenix, do not doubt it! With the help of the glorious German army, we will be able to free the country from those seeking to take it from us. We will no doubt also crush the rebel scum which buzzes around our mountains.” - Snoke strokes his cleanly shaven chin. - “In this time of confusion, I have few certainties, my dear, and you are one. That is why I am so disappointed in you. To fail a mission as easy as this one … But as I said, worry not.” -He finally sits down again. - “Hux has told me he has fetched useful information from the farmhouse, is it true?”

“Yes, **I** have.” – Answers Kylo – “One of those _pitiful vermin_ actually told me that Dameron has a son.”

“Interesting…” – Snoke interrupts him – “Go on.”

“I had one of the boys do some research at the registrar’s earlier this morning, it appears that he is eleven years old. His name is Beniamino.” – Kylo clears his throat, that name made him uncomfortable - “His father made him skip the Balilla meetings. That is the reason we did not know. The boy also wasn’t at the farmhouse last night.”

“Then find him!” – Snoke orders vehemently – “It can be a good _lever_ for Dameron. That will be all, report to me in a week. I expect to see you here with the boy.” Kylo jumps up:

“Yes, sir” – He clicks his heels together a second time, hand to his forehead, and turns around.

“Oh, and do **not** disappoint me again” – Snoke hisses. Kylo already has his back to him, his grip on the handle is firm.

“No, sir, I won't.”

-

Rey gulps then she takes a long, deep breath and finally frowns, anger building up in the pit of her stomach.

“So this is how you treat those who help you, isn’t it?” - She can feel the gun being pushed harder against her nape. - “Then maybe there is some truth to what they say about you.” That must have struck a chord because Dameron grabs her by her left shoulder and manages to turn her so that she now faces him. Rey sees determination and fury in his eyes.

“Go on, do it! You are not that different from the ones you’re fighting against, you coward.” That pushes him over the edge. With a quick swing of the arm he hits her left temple with the butt of the gun. Rey feels her head split from the pain and cries out loudly while falling to the ground, hitting her back. When she lifts her eyes Dameron is pointing the gun to her chest, ready to shoot.

“Father!?” - It’s Bibí. His eyes are pool of tears. Poe lowers his gun and looks down.

“I’m sorry” - He mutters – “I’m so sorry!” - Then his voice becomes steadier. - “Go. We will leave you be. But if someone finds us here we will know who betrayed us. It’s your choice girl.” - He offers her a hand and helps her get up. - “Go. Now. Before I change my mind!”

Rey starts running towards the trees, tripping and slipping, panting from the effort and grunting for the pain that makes her head pound as if it were a drum. She turns around once and sees Poe’s silhouette get back into the house with the boy. Bibí’s sobbing still echoed in her ears. As soon as she gets under the pines she collapses to the ground, her chest was raising faster and faster and her throat was sore. A black tide floods her vision and her mind, and she falls into oblivion.

-

Kylo bursts open the door of the office he had been assigned at the barracks. He has to prepare to find that boy and Commander Dameron. A real thorn in their side, that one! ‘I should start from the farmhouse’, he decides, ‘maybe I can find some traces of where he went’. A knock on the door derails his train of thought.

“Come in!” – He bellows from behind his desk. His black hair shines, lit from the window behind him. Kylo barely notices the tall, redheaded man who had just entered the room. His thoughts still to those rebels up in the mountain.

“Good morning, Lieutenant” – a heavily Venetian accented voice says. Kylo detaches his hands, which were joined under his chin in a thinking pose.

“Hux”– his voice drips aversion and Kylo barely glances at him. 

“Sir” – Hux says, hand to his forehead – “I have orders from Lieutenant Snoke to give you all the assistance you may need in the coming days to find the boy.”

“I see news travel fast.” – Kylo remarks – “Yes, we have to group at least ten men and find Dameron’s son, he may lead us to the man himself.”

“May I suggest Captain Phasma, Sir?” – Hux interjects – “She is an excellent scout! We may succeed, this time, if she joins us.” Kylo did not enjoy the company of Hux and his clique. They were fanatics. Hux’s not-that-well-hidden remark about his failure the previous night had also not gone unnoticed. He had a point about Phasma though.

“All right!” – He finally mutters – “She may actually prove useful.” - With a sudden backward thrust, Kylo gets up. - “That will be all for now, Consul General.” – Kylo really enjoyed reminding Hux of who was the highest in rank - “Meeting is in three hours in the courtyard. We will take two cars. Make sure they are ready for us. Be discreet! We should not draw attention to us, not until the new treaty will be in force. The German army is officially still occupying the city!”

-

“Wake up! Oh, please, wake up!” Rey hears a muffled, distant voice. She can feel a hand behind her neck. Her face is damp, is it sweat or water? She finally opens her eyes. Finn’s big, brown ones widen with relief.

“Rey!”

Finn gently helps her up but her legs fail. Scrambling for support she leans against a pine tree, her temples still throbbing from the blow. A few breaths later she is able to take in the reality around her. It is very early morning, judging from the pale sun which filters through the trees. A worried Finn is staring at her, trying to figure out how to help. She is still all in one piece at least!

“Hey!” – She manages to raucously let out – “Thank you!”

“It’s all right. I was just leaving when I saw you lying there” – Finn says. Rey is puzzled:

“Leaving? I thought you wanted to stay!” Finn shrugs, then searches her face.

“Can you walk?” – Finn asks. Rey tries a couple of steps:

“I think so”

“Here” – He extends to her the satchel she had left her home with – “I got back to retrieve it earlier, thought you might want it back.”

“Thank you” – Rey grabs it. Everything is still there, luckily – “I think I should get going now, my goats have been alone too long!”

Finn opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, then he finally musters the courage to query:

“Do you mind if I join you for a bit?”

“Not at all!” - Rey shakes her head.

Descending the mountain with Finn’s quiet presence, being in contact with nature again, reassures Rey. It is like a balm for her shaken self. Not that she hadn’t seen ugliness in her life, or violence. She had not expected to experience it on her own skin though.

A couple of hours later they agree on a break. She is grateful Finn isn’t questioning her about what happened but she is curious.

“What will you do now? Do you have a place to go to?” – She inquires.

“Not really” – He says sadly – “My family is all in Africa, I don’t know anyone here, except for my former comrades. I was thinking I could try and go to one of those big factories in Torino, maybe they would hire... Someone like me. There have been huge strikes recently, I could be useful.”

Rey nods.

“Look, my cottage is not big and I don’t have much but we could grow some crops and you could help me with the goats?”

It must be her headache speaking. ‘What do you think you are doing?’ screams the rational part of herself. He’s a complete stranger! And an ex Militiaman. He could be very dangerous.

“That is very generous of you, Rey, I’m grateful. I couldn’t possibly impose my presence though!” – he protests. Somehow, she trusts him. In her 19 years of life she had learned that her gut feelings were very rarely wrong. And she felt kindness, loneliness and fear in him.

“You could hide well there, if they are looking for you, Finn. Really. If you want, it’s fine with me.”

“Thank you” - He smiles, unable to say more.

Just a few other hours is what takes them to reach Rey’s home and the sunset is spraying the whole valley with purple and gold shades.

“Hey there, you numpties!” – Rey throws herself at the goats – “You didn’t think you had seen the last of me, did you?”

Finn chuckles at the scene and she blushes at the sound.

“Come in” – Rey invites him – “It’s not much, but it’s home”. She shows him around the room. The table, the fireplace, the stove.

“Are you hungry? I’m starving!” – Moving rapidly across the room she takes out an uncut salami and some bread from the cupboard near the stove and starts enthusiastically cutting both.

“There! Taste it, it’s heavenly” - She hums appreciatively after eating a slice - “I need to take care of those naughty beasties out there now but do go on without me, I will be back soon.” That said, she flies outside. Through the door Finn can hear her rambling incessantly to the goats. His lips curve upwards. He is smiling for the first time in a long while. 

-

“Damn it!” - Kylo kicks a basket, which laid abandoned on the farmhouse’s yard. The huts were empty. Everybody had left. Blood still stained the dusty soil under the group’s feet.

“We could prob…” – Hux starts timidly, aware that his superior’s fury took just a little spark to ignite. Kylo points a finger at him and keeps waving it while pacing in small circles.

“We will go to Dronero. Someone must know them there, it’s the closest town.” – Kylo finally says - “Come!” - He barks his order while striding back to the parked cars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we finally met Kylo! I hope you enjoyed the glimpses of him here as much as I'm having fun writing him. I really can't quantify how much I'm enjoying the process of creating my own plot and my version of the charachters. I really hope you're enjoying it too and I can't wait for you to read more! Thank you SO MUCH for the sweet feedback.


	4. In this moonlit night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While snow starts wrapping the mountains in a thick white blanket, Rey has to find a way to warn someone of an imminent danger.

# Chapter 3

# In this moonlit night

[ ](https://imgur.com/4wcSwbm)

“There!” - With a last strike of the hammer, Rey is finally done repairing the goats’ shelter, which had collapsed under the weight of the first snow of the year earlier that morning. Tapping her feet and blowing on her hands she enters the cottage. Her fingers felt like icicles despite her woollen gloves. Temperatures had quickly dropped the last week of September and snow had soon followed. Rey would probably lose one or two meetings with the milkman, and her pay. She sighed at the thought. Well, at least with Finn’s help she had doubled her burning wood stock and he was very good at catching fish. To her surprise, she had also grown to enjoy the company. The evenings were less quiet thanks to his talent for the harmonica and the chats by the fire had become, for both, one of their favourite moments of the day. He had told her part of his story, how he had been sold by his mother when he was just fifteen, how he had then been coherced into joining the Militia. Rey saw the topic still hurt a lot. How could it not... She on the other hand still hadn’t shared anything about herself during those three weeks. The only thing they had truly discussed was Dameron’s attack on Rey. Finn agreed with her he had done it because he thought she could reveal his squadron’s location. She could understand, up to a point, but her blood still boiled with rage at the memory. She had also thought a lot about his words, all those deaths, all that pain in his voice. The passion of his conviction had not faded from her memory either.

“God almighty, I think it’s going to snow for the whole day! Nothing but grey clouds in the sky” – She exclaims. Finn was sitting at the table, idle - “Hopefully tomorrow I can go sell the milk”. He isn’t really paying attention though. - “Is anything the matter, Finn?” – She queries. He puts his left hand on the table. Rey sees him slowly unwrap a quite large ball of paper. He straightens it a bit then nudges it towards her. Rey steps forward and takes it. It’s the front page of a two weeks old newspaper* and a large picture of Mussolini dominated it.

HE IS BACK!

The title screamed.

“ _In a heartfelt and brave radio address from Munich, the former Prime Minister has declared his gratitude for his regained freedom and the birth of the Social Italian Republic. He has succeeded in rekindling the alliance with our friends over the Alps and he calls on the population to join the fight against the vile Anglo-American invasion of our sacred soil. Under his aegis and with a renewed fire in our bosoms, the fire of the primary ideals of fascism, we will succeed and the Empire will rise again to its former glory! The man we call our King, cowardly bowing to the treacherous invaders from his Brindisi hiding place, has shamefully declared the creation of the new state illegitimate, the new alliance a sham and those who will join the Leader traitors. However, who is the real traitor? The brave men willing to give their life for the freedom of their country or a King who lets his people be subjected to the shame of invasion?”_

Rey brings a hand to her mouth. She shakes her head then she joins Finn on the bench in front of the table.

“This... This...”

“This means a civil war. Yes.” - Finn gives voice to her thoughts – “This means the Germans will have free rein, even more than they have had up until now, and that our army is like paper cut-outs to them, which they can bring down with a single blow. This means we have to prepare for very tough days ahead, Rey, tougher than ever before!”

What Mussolini was doing couldn’t be called anything else but treason. He was creating another state, which would no doubt be at Hitler’s personal service against the Anglo-American alliance, in direct defiance of the armistice. Even with the little she knew Rey could still understand this would mean a war between those who would follow a man who had been a very popular leader up until July, and those who would be faithful to the King. Mussolini had brought the country at war side by side with Hitler, and many had seized the opportunity, when General Castellano and Eisenhower had signed the armistice, to make sure they were fighting on the right side of the war this time. Rey was now well aware that anti-fascists, and people who simply wanted to contrast the German invasion of the northern part of the country, had gathered to do so, rifles in hand, right up the mountains. Finn had called it a civil war and she was afraid he wasn’t far from the truth.

“I found the paper earlier,” – Finn explained - “It wrapped the nails you were using” - He was clutching his hands so tight that his knuckles were white - “I wish I had not seen it!”

“Don’t be silly!” - Exclaims Rey – “burying your head in the sand will not make the reality of it go away. We have to be extra careful though. Germans and Fascists will swarm the valley in no time. This is old news too, things may have changed.” - She points a finger at Finn – “You will stay inside. We cannot risk them finding you.” He shakes his head.

“I’m really not worth the trouble, Rey. I should go...”

“Nonsense.” – She protests – “If I can help a friend in need, I will do it.” He mocks a military salute to her; he had learned she wasn’t one to give up easily.

“Tomorrow,” - Rey adds – “Or the first time I manage to go down to the village, I can try to find more information. I am pretty sure there will be newspapers around, fresh ones, or someone I can ask... “

-

“No excuses!” – Snoke bellows – “Now that the way forward is clear again, we must not disappoint. I am hugely disheartened, my boy, I cannot deny it.” With a shake of his head he graciously occupies the X-chair behind his desk and lets out a very loud sigh. Kylo is standing in front of him.

“I found a possible clue though, Sir” - Kylo's shoulders straighten when he explains – “After some persuasion, I convinced a milkman in Dronero to tell me that he had seen the boy the morning of the raid. That means he definitely was there at the farmstead that day! I will head back to the village and find out more.” Snoke raises an eyebrow, evaluating his words.

“Last chance, son.” – He raises a finger and waves it menacingly in his direction – “Last. Chance.”

Kylo lowers his head.

-

It takes Rey four full hours to reach Dronero the next morning instead of the usual three. The whole landscape is under a thick blanket of snow and her feet soon get wet despite the boots and the socks. The cans of milk bobble and clatter while hanging from the bicycle she is pushing. When Rey finally sets foot in the town, the atmosphere is noticeably gloomy. More than the grey clouds and the soft mat of snow should warrant. The few people she meets after crossing the crenellated bridge she knows so well walk quickly by, their eyes are stubbornly rivetted to the floor. Rey’s bicycle rattles loudly on the cobbled streets and the sound of it in the eerie silence annoys her after a while. She turns the handlebar left and starts walking faster under the arcades; the smooth slabs make it much easier to push the bike. A few minutes later, near the central square, she finally hears some muffled voices. The market stands are sparser than usual, she notices while entering the square, and many shops are closed, but she spots Mario worriedly looking around while his head peeps from the upper part of his dairy’s wooden stable door. Rey points towards him; As soon as he spots her, Mario timidly waves:

“Bònjorn, cara!” – He greets her with his usual langue d’oc spiced prose** while he gestures her to quickly get inside the shop. Then he opens the lower part of the door to let her in. Rey walks closer.

“Bònjorn, Mario!” – Rey replies in similar fashion. She unfastens the cans and enters the low-ceilinged dairy.

“It’s been days since I last saw you, Rey” – He asks, concerned – “I thought something had happened to you...”

“I’m fine, thank you, just the snow slowing me down a bit” – Rey smiles. The shop was one of her favourite places. The smell of cheese was definitely one she didn’t tire of. She loved the barrel-vaulted ceiling of the dairy, the red of the bricks and the grey of the stones. She had always known that place and Mario too. He and his wife had discretely kept an eye on her, and Rey was grateful for that. Because of him, she had felt slightly less alone in the 10 years since her parents had disappeared.

“Mario, do you, by any chance...Ouch” – She hit a chair while going closer to help him empty the heavy milk cans.

“Oh I’m sorry” – He apologizes – “That one broke earlier, that’s why it’s still there, I wanted to move it to the back.”

Rey observes the chair. The bar between the two rear legs had broken in half.

“Don’t worry, give me a moment and I can fix that!” – She exclaims while picking it up – “Where can I find some nails and a hammer?”

Mario guides her through the door behind the counter, which leads to a large storeroom where countless wooden shelves hold few cheese wheels. Rey remembers that before the war the shelves would host rows upon rows of Toma or fragrant Fontina and smelly goat cheese. She looks away from the shelves with a sigh. When Mario points to a hammer and a small packet of nails, tapping her on the arm to attract her attention, she finally lowers the chair.

“There” – he says.

“Thank you, Mario! Your chair will be as new in no time.” – She assures him. He leaves the room while chuckling. Someone had entered the shop.

Rey finds a suitable piece of wood in a pile Mario had stored in a corner of the room, bends down on one knee and is about to start hammering it in place when the words she hears coming from the dairy leave her shaking and incredulous.

“You told us that you had last seen Beniamino Dameron two weeks prior to our latest visit” – a nasal, low pitched female voice is drawling – “Have you seen him since?”

Rey doesn’t recognize the voice. She finds it whiny and unpleasant. The mention of Bibí had startled her. Why would they look specifically for him, and not for his father for example? They mentioned being there another time? She shifts her weight from her left leg to the right one then slowly gets up and hides where the door casts its shadow. She can now see that it’s actually two people opposite Mario, and that they are clearly fascists: their black shirts leave no doubts. Rey clutches the hammer tighter.

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” – Mario answers the towering, blonde woman who was questioning him. His voice is barely audible – “I haven’t seen the boy in three weeks.” Rey can see him put his hands in the pockets of his apron and crouch his shoulder. She hated seeing him so afraid.

The woman sniggers then turns to her redheaded companion.

“I think we won’t find anything here, Hux, Ren has brought us here again only to show he was actually doing something” - Her mouth twists in a side smile. Rey shudders. She had never seen a smile like that before.

“I agree” – The man named Hux replies – “Let’s go. We won’t find anything in this humid hole.” Mario clenches his fists in his pockets at the words but only bows his head slightly.

“Have a good day!” – He tries to sound jolly.

As soon as they disappear from view Rey bolts from her hiding place.

“Filthy fascist scum” – She spits out – “I must warn Dameron. I won’t let anything happen to Bibí!” - Mario is puzzled:

“You know them? I didn’t know that! They were noticed by the authorities years ago because Dameron used to hold meetings at the inn, just around the corner, and was never discreet about it.” - Mario shakes his head. He gives the milk cans back to Rey.

“I really need to go now, or I won’t reach them before dark!” - She ties the empty cans to the back of the bicycle and kisses him goodbye on the cheeks. - “I will be back soon to repair your chair!” – She shouts while starting to cross the square. Mario waves her goodbye and walks back into the dairy with a sigh. Rey has not noticed the lanky, dark-haired man clad in a black leather overcoat staring at her from behind a pillar of the arcade. The bell of the nearby church warns everyone that it’s ten o’clock.

-

“Finn! Hey Finn!” – Rey calls while rushing into the cottage. 

“Hey, you’re back!” - He is intent on peeling some potatoes – “So, any news?”

“I’ve got to go, I’ve got to warn Bibí” – Rey tries explaining when he looks at her packing with a questioning face.

“Rey, slow down, what happened?” – He finally gets up and stands in her way so she has to stop.

“I heard someone from the Militia question Mario, the milkman, about Bibí.” – Rey pushes him aside in order to fetch her crampons and ice axe – “I have to try to reach him before they do!”

“I’ll come with you!” Finn starts shoving things into his backpack too, shushing Rey’s protests. Rey locks the goats then the two rush up the path they now know fairly well.

The sun has almost completely disappeared beyond the horizon when they eventually reach the refuge, which they slowly approach from the field in front of it with a handkerchief ready to be waved. No one shoots though and when they reach the door two sentries simply halt them.

“We need to meet Dameron, is he here?” – Rey asks. The two men look at each other then ask for their names.

“Tell him it’s Rey, he knows me.” – She replies them, tersely. With a nod, one of the two orders the other to go find the Commander, then waits with Rey and Finn while pointing his rifle to them until Dameron appears through the door.

“Rey?! … Finn!” – Poe looks both puzzled and wary – “Come in!”

“What is it? Why are you here?” – Asks Poe once they are sitting around the long table in the biggest room of the house. The table where Bibí had been healed from his wound. Rey wonders how the boy is doing. She shakes the thoughts away, there is a reason she is in Poe’s presence again:

“I was in Dronero this morning;” – She starts while a knot of people forms around them – “I heard two from the Militia, or the Republican Guard, whatever they call themselves now, saying that they are looking for Bibí. Not you, Bibí. I just … I had to tell you.”

Poe’s jaw drops.

“Tha…Thank you. For telling me I mean.” – He looks down – “Even after…” – Rey shakes her head.

“Don’t think about it. All I care about is the boy’s safety! If you agree, me and Finn could even keep him with us for a while…” - The two men look at her.

“Let me think about it, all right?” – Poe stops her – “Now. You will stay with us tonight; I really owe it to you”. Rey slowly nods.

They spend the evening cheerfully sharing food and songs. The atmosphere so warm it is almost suffocating for the solitary Rey. Thirty people are a lot. All had gathered around the fireplace, which was the only source of light besides from the bright moonlight peeping through some holes in the darkened, small, windows, and all had taken turns in entertaining the group. Rey now needed a break. She had enjoyed the music and the laughter though. She gets up and walks to the door; the cold air hits her violently as soon as she opens it.

“Hey there” – She greets the two sentinels – “Do you have a spare cigarette?”

The two scramble to be the first and Rey blushes, grateful that the cold air had already reddened her cheeks. She takes the box of matches and the cigarette, and lights it.

“Thanks” – She puffs and gives them back. She walks aimlessly around, looking at the part of the house that was not engulfed by the rocks above it, then she crosses the field, and she finds herself under the pines. She leans with her back on a large trunk, her eyes closed, breathing slowly, taking in the quietness.

“Well, well, well …” – A deep voice suddenly breaks the silence. Rey’s breath hitches in her throat. She looks around for the source of it and jumps backwards when she sees him. The man who is now circling her is tall, very tall. He mustn’t be older than thirty. The night breeze makes his long, black coat flutter around his booted calves. His orderly raven hair glistens in a pool of silver light. Only a couple of locks had rebelled to the comb, Rey notices, falling on his large forehead. She gulps while taking in his features, his elongated oval hosted a pair of thick, frowning eyebrows, which shaded the dark, hooded eyes now fixing her. They didnt't reflect the light. A big nose did not hide his full, rosy lips. For some reason, Rey cannot bring herself to stop looking at him. He makes a step towards her and she retreats more into the thick of the trees, incapable of producing any sound.

“What do we have here, uh?” – He murmurs while cornering her with her back towards a solitary large birch – “I think it is rebel scum, am I not right, missy?”

The taunting breaks Rey’s silence:

“I dare say, it is fascist scum I see, am I not right, Sir?” – He seems amused by her reply and that enrages her. The thought that she is actually defenceless suddenly hits her and she starts shivering. He gets closer and closer. Rey puts on a defiant expression, ready to use every ounce of her strength. She will not go without a fight.

When Kylo sees her clench her jaw and tense the shoulders he stops for a second. He had not expected to find such boldness. She looked so tiny, almost helpless. He was sure she would be an easy target.

“There, there, I will not harm you, don’t be afraid” – He says. Half teasingly, half not. He moves closer and sees her right fist shoot up towards his face. He easily engulfs her hand with his, blocking her punch, and twists her arm behind her back. She yelps from the pain and falls on her knees in the wet, cold snow. He bends down, looming over her.

“Now, you listen to me, missy” – He hisses, holding her down. A single tear starts running down Rey’s cheek – “You will write me regular reports on Dameron’s squadron. What they do, where they are, who they are, who they meet…”

“I will do no such thing” – Rey cries out – “Never!” – She wiggles and he pushes her down again.

“Oh yes, you will, dearie” – He gets up, lets her wrist go and takes out a gun from under his coat. Rey scrambles to get up as well, looking for a way to hit him but freezes when she sees the gun – “You will, or, I will kill that disgusting traitor friend of yours. And the boy as well.” – He lifts her chin with a single finger and he feels her tremble at his touch even through his black leather gloves – “Understood?” – His face is now so close to hers she can smell him. He scents of night, and grass. He must have waited for her there a long time!

She smells of hay, Kylo thinks, and of wax. He retreats and sees her jaw clench again. She sniffles, then her hazel eyes look right back into his, and her nose scrunches. He can't help but be taken aback at her fierceness.

“Here!” – He holds out a scrap of paper – “You will write to this address. And remember, I’m watching you. If you will not write for a week I will consider our deal broken. You will find I am a man of my word, missy.”

“My name” – She spits out – “is Rey, Sir.” - She won’t hear him call her ‘missy’ another time.

“Nice to meet you, Rey” – He chuckles subtly – “Now go, don’t you make your friends worry…”

Rey glares at him He gestures with his right hand, still holding the gun, towards the house. Rey walks away, regularly watching over her left shoulder. She can see him stand there, still, for a long time. By the time she reaches the house, she feels dizzy from all the thoughts buzzing in her head. She collapses on a chair in front of the table in the empty kitchen and looks at the piece of paper in her hands. She does not even register for how long she sits there, trembling from fear and frustration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two words: first meeting, omg! ... Hope you had a nice time reading and thanks for doing it ♥
> 
> *The newspaper I'm imagining is ["Il Popolo d'Italia" [The People of Italy]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Il_Popolo_d%27Italia) the main fascist news outlet. The article is invented by me but the facts reported are real.
> 
> ** The valley I set my story in is one where langue d'oc survived and the occitan identity is still very felt so I decided to pay homage to that. [ Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qI_F69kckGc) is "Se chanto" a popular, and beautiful, occitan song which is considered the hymn of the local occitan valleys.


	5. Envoys of Darkness or envoys of Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While training, Rey starts a correspondence with her enemy and manages to frustrate him infinitely with her messages.

# Chapter 4

# Envoys of darkness or envoys of light

[ ](https://imgur.com/rdVtKgn)

A gentle tap on the shoulder awakens Rey. It is early morning. She jumps, as if she were a spring, and she sees Finn, standing not far from her.

“Oh, hey, good morning” – Rey’s back protests. She had spent the whole night hunched on the kitchen table.

“Look” – she says while scanning the room for other people. The house was silent, everybody was already out apparently – “I have been thinking. I want to join the resistance, I...I can’t bear to just look. I want to do something.” - She looks away from Finn. It wasn’t a complete lie after all. – “I want to talk to Poe, see what he says.” Finn settles on a nearby chair.

“I thought you would say that!” – He interjects – “I have been thinking too. This time I will stay. I want to. I know I will feel useful here, and not like a fugitive. If they will accept me that is...”

Rey’s face is briefly crossed by an uncertain smile. She had half hoped he would flee, but maybe it is better if she knows where he is.

“Right...We’ll see what the big man has to say about it”

Before she can say anything else, a dark blonde mane of curls blocks her vision and she is squeezed in a tight hug.A fuzzy warmness erupts from her chest at the contact and she squeezes him back.

“Rey! I’m so happy you are here!” – Bibí exclaims.

“Hey, little rascal! I’m happy to see you too!”

“Han was telling me all about how guns work” – Rey sees a strongly built middle-aged man standing on the door with a smirk on his bearded face and a cigarette between the fingers of his right hand – “Father thinks I’m too young but I want to know, so I can join him!”

“And you should know” – Han growls while getting closer – “But you have to wait a bit longer before going with your dad”. He puts out a hand towards Rey –“Han Solo”. Rey shakes his hand.

“Rey”

“So, you’re new here?” – Han queries. He nods towards Finn too.

“Yes, Sir” – Finn answers.

“Right. So, the men are preparing an attack for next week, we’ve caught word that a Nazi artillery division will travel through the valley to join the regiment which has occupied Cuneo two weeks ago…”

“The others will tell you I already have the necessary training, I can join them.” – Finn interrupts him.

“Yeah, yeah, everyone says so. We’ll see what you are made of once you join in the action.” - Han scoffs – “But you…” – He turns to Rey.

“I can learn! I want to learn.” – She squares her shoulders as if to appear bigger. She surely wanted to be able to use a firearm! Han hums, evaluating her.

“Not many women I know can actually fight. I’ll give you a chance, but girl, I will be quick to judge, and if I will say no, it will stay no”. Rey nods. Action had always been more natural to her than words. Bibí claps his hands excitedly.

-

_A drop falls on Rey’s hand. It’s a tear, she realizes. She looks over her right shoulder and spots Ben trying to disguise his emotion. His chin is lowered and an uncombed curl shadows part of his face. Rey squeezes his hand, which was resting near hers on the bed. He does too._

_“So, the Han you just mentioned, mummy, is it grandpa?” – Ian’s face lights up – “That’s his picture there, isn’t it, with grandma Leia?” – He points to the chest of drawers opposite the bed._

_“Yes, sweetheart, it’s him.” – Rey smiles._

_“And you can shoot? Like a soldier?” – Ian’s eyes widen. Ben laughs:_

_“Oh, she can actually do better than a soldier, trust me!”_

_“But daddy, why did you say you would kill that boy and mummy’s friend…”_

_Both Ben and Rey are taken aback at the bluntness of the question._

_“Because…” – Ben starts but then his voice fails him. He clears his throat then he manages to go on – “Because I was blind, Ian. Because when there is a war, and you pick a side, you become blind. If you saw the reasons why the other side was fighting you, you would not want to fight anymore. You cannot stop to watch the enemy in the eyes. You would find in them the same fear you have in yours. You would have to admit they are partly, or entirely, right, and you struggle against that with all of yourself. Otherwise, the hurt you have caused cannot be justified anymore, and you are just a murderer.” Rey’s vision turns blurry when he says that._

_“Ben…”_

_Ian has fallen silent, his chin rests on his knees, which he is holding tight against his chest._

_“Also…” – Ben adds – “I really just was a bit of a jerk!” – He tries to deflect Rey’s outraged protests with a pinch on her arm – “It took your mother quite some time to get some sense into me”. Both laugh._

_“Did you kill them daddy?” – Ian emerges from his thoughts – “That boy and that man. Did you kill them?” – Ben opens his mouth, and then closes it again, unable to form an adequate answer._

_-_

_October 6, 1943_

My first report, Sir.

You won’t believe what an eventful day I had!

Since everyone was away, I spent the day with a certain Han Solo. 

He has helped fine tune my frankly poor shooting skills.

It may prove useful if we’ll ever meet again.

I am, at present, unable to relay more.

The squadron was away, as I mentioned,

so I couldn’t collect any other helpful information, what a shame!

Rey

PS: The squadron has returned; it is now the day after.

You will be happy to know that Dameron has begrudgingly

accepted to let me in, if that Solo will train me well enough.

Kylo skims through Rey’s brief note two, three times, getting angrier and angrier.

“That’s unbelievable!” – He shouts, as he starts crumpling the paper. He throws it away, across the office, and it lands in the middle of the tiled floor. With a growl, he picks a sheet of paper from a small pile on his right, adjusts it in front of him then lifts his Sheaffer fountain pen.

_Wednesday, October 13, 194_

Miss,

Do I really have to remind you that this situation is not a joke?

It would take me less than a day to come and find you at your ridiculous hiding place.

PS: Good luck with your training.

I would be careful about confronting a trained man from the Republican Guard yet if I were you!

Kylo Ren

Two loud knocks on the door make him raise his head from the message.

“Come in!” – He roars while disguising the letter with a blank sheet of paper. Armitage Hux briskly strides in, lifting his right arm as always.

“Sir, Lieutenant Snoke requests your presence. Immediately.”

“Thank you, Consul. I will join him right away.”

Kylo quickly goes around the desk. Something soft under his right boot attracts his attention. It’s Rey’s message. With a swift movement, he picks the wrinkled piece of paper from the floor and straightens it, absentmindedly putting it in a pocket of his shirt, under the thick, grey jacket of his uniform. Hux observes him, then slightly bows his head when Kylo goes through the door he was keeping open.

It is mere minutes later when they are in the presence of their commanding officer.

“I am told you have news for me, Lieutenant Ren...” – Snoke is purring.

“Yes, Sir. I obtained collaboration from a spy within Dameron’s squadron. I know their present location, and the boy’s presence is confirmed. I am positive we can obtain useful information from my source”. With a self-satisfied nod, Kylo turns his eyes towards his mentor. On Kylo’s left, Hux’s face is deformed by a disgusted grimace.

“You fool!” – Bellows Snoke. Hux’s scowl turns into a grin. Kylo’s lips part in shock and his eyes widen. – “We could have already thrown them all in a camp or executed them by now! What were you thinking leaving them there? What makes you so sure your source will not warn Dameron about you? I can’t for the life of me understand what got into you!” – Stunned by the reproach Kylo does not find a suitable reply. Snoke reaches him and Hux and puts a hand on Kylo’s shoulder – “It’s a time for action, my boy, remember our Leader’s words. Only with tireless alacrity, we can build the new world. The sooner we get rid of these annoying pests, the better. Now, what is done is done, and it may prove useful after all.” – Snoke’s expression softens – “Keep me updated.”

“I will, Sir.” – Kylo manages to let out.

“I don’t suppose you would like to join me and Phasma tonight...” – Hux queries while they march through the corridor outside Snoke’s office shortly after.

“You supposed right, Hux.” – Kylo answers while opening the door to his own office – “I want to crush the rebels as much as you, but I prefer organized and well planned actions to banditries...” That said, he leaves the redheaded Consul General behind and slams the door. Oh, how he loathed Hux, Phasma and their clique. They roamed the streets at night without the uniforms in what they called ‘patrolling’, in order to find people to beat, mostly. Order and discipline were the way, not that. Showing people the glorious way forward their Leader had planned. Everybody had to see, and the Guard had to lead by example! Didn’t people want Italy to be the centre of the Empire again? To have its rightful place? Kylo could not fathom how someone may disagree with the Fascist view. It would ensure order, peace and prosperity once this transition phase would be over. The Leader had demonstrated the potential with his laws and reformations; he had even drained some marshes, granted special funds for large families, and most importantly, he had put a rightful dumper to the foul influence of Jews. Now everyone had to do their bit too.

Lost in his ruminations Kylo leans to his desk and brings a hand to his forehead, thumb and index on his temples, then his fingers roam on his jacket’s buttons as he unfastens them. While doing so his left hand’s knuckles brush against Rey’s letter. He had completely forgotten it was there. He opens it again and reads it for the fourth time. Maybe some “patrolling” would not hurt. He needed to do more, after all. Snoke was right; he had to help make a difference.

-

“Every single person can make a difference, Rey, believe me!” – Poe is saying – “Like many drops can form an ocean. We can be the wave that sweeps away the fascists once and for all. They have done enough damage by having us take part in the war. Their violence, their arrogance needs to end. Oh, and those bloody racial laws were the cherry on top of the cake! Samuele here, Olive, he can tell you what his family had to go through, if you want to hear! They are gone now, all taken by the Germans, including his little sister. She was only 9…” – He slams his glass on the table vehemently. Rey lowers her head, how many atrocities she did not know about, and how much injustice. She turns her head towards Olive and shares a sorrowful look with him. She had been there a week now; Poe had even let her bring her goats to the refuge, which she did not expect. They had been an excellent source of fun with their tempers.

“Now…” – Poe continues – “Our source told us the artillery convoy is scheduled to reach Cuneo in two days around midday. I think we should set up camp from the evening before in that spot Lupo and Ulysses found, it is close enough to the street but they will not be able to see us from below because of the vegetation. As I was saying, I’d go there tomorrow night so we’re sure we don’t miss them even if they are early.” Nods of agreement come from all in the room and the reunion is dismissed soon after.

Poe approaches Rey:

“Hey…” – He smiles at her – “How are the training sessions with Han going? He can be quite tough, I know, but I hope he’s treating you well enough.”

“Oh he’s been nothing but charming to me” – Rey chuckles – “I won’t let him have the last word!” – Poe laughs too – “I start to see real improvements anyway, I’d like to join you tomorrow…I’m sure I can prove useful in some way.” Poe shakes his head.

“I know you want to help Rey but I’m afraid people may want to protect you and they’d be distracted by that…”

“Look, I’ve protected myself for ten years; I think I am fully capable of looking after myself!”

“I told you, I trust your abilities, I just…”

“Cut it, Poe!” – Rey is now furious – “I know perfectly well you don’t ‘trust my abilities’ at all!”

“All right, all right, come! Let’s see how this one goes, but know that I’m not happy about it. At all!” – He waves a finger towards her, then strides away, ending their conversation.

“I think you’re ready” – Han’s raspy voice reaches her from behind – “You truly are a fast learner… Now let’s go practice your long range shots some more though.” – He gestures towards the door.

The two of them silently walk for about an hour under the trees. Rey spots a brown and grey snake on the ground, a viper. A slender, slithering line, about 2 meters away. She points it to Han who nods. Rey embraces the rifle, resting it on her right shoulder. She strokes the trigger with her index finger while the snake takes notice of the two and hisses in their direction. Before it can start sliding towards them, Rey pulls the trigger. The unfortunate reptile is chopped in half.

“Impressive!” – Exclaims Han as he bends down to watch it – “Now let’s try something different. You go up there!” – He points towards a large rock sitting around ten meters away. As Rey starts walking towards it, Han ties his red neckerchief to a branch. Rey climbs the rock then lies on its top, pointing the rifle to the red square of fabric. The wind rustles the leaves and the pine needles and carries around the countless melodies the birds share with him so generously. Rey breathes slowly and closes her left eye, taking aim. One, two, three…She shoots. This time the birds stop singing and flutter around in a frenzy, shaken by the loud sound of the rifle. In three jumps, she reaches the ground. Patches of snow still laid around unmelted. Han unties the neckerchief as she rushes back to him with her cheeks flushed and a wide smile.

“How did I do?” – She asks, impatient to know. Han spreads the object of their attention.

“I guess I will have to mend it now!” – He says, gifting her one his rare lopsided smiles. A round hole now featured on the neckerchief.

Back at the refuge a couple hours later it was time for lunch. Everyone had gathered around a short, black haired girl with a round, kind face that Rey did not know.

“Easy, easy” – She’s saying – “Or you’ll knock me over”

As soon as she spots Rey her eyes linger on her for a second and the two exchange a quick nod.

“That’s Rose!” – Han whispers as they enter the room – “She’s one of our most trusted couriers. She could make a cannon slip through the checkpoints.”

“Rey” – The girl calls – Are you Rey? I have a letter for you?”

Rey gasps and quickly walks up to her elbowing all the others.

“Thank you!” – She whispers.

“You are lucky your man can still write you” – Rose winks.

“Oh, it’s not…I don’t…”

“It’s all right, Rey, nothing to be ashamed of! Hey…those are not for you Nettle, give them back” – She cuts their brief exchange to run after a small bundle which had just been snatched from her hands. Bibí joins Rey.

“I like Rose, she always brings something good to eat” – He grins. Rey smiles faintly back then sits on an empty chair in a corner of the room. Kylo’s pristine penmanship is the first thing that catches her attention, and the thickness of the paper, it must have been an expensive one, then her eyes dart through the black lines as she realizes the threat they carry.

“Oh, a message from your sweetheart?” – Poe is walking up to her. Rey adjusts on the chair as she lowers the letter in order to hide it.

“Hm, well…” – She chuckles in an unusually high pitch – “no, just a friend” – She says, trying to smile and sound as casual as possible. Poe hums, then winks teasingly while turning his back to her. Rey breathes again. Oh, how she hated keeping things from him. She searches for a scrap of paper then bends down on the table, looking around to check if anyone was watching her while the point of the pen scraped the paper. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was looking for a way to recrete the intimacy of the force bond then it hit me: secret letters!
> 
> I don't think I mentioned yet, the name of Rey and Ben's son, Ian is an homage to the first italian dubbing of Star Wars where Han's name had been adapted into Ian. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading the chapter, thanks for following me along the journey!


	6. “O tiger’s heart wrapped in a woman’s hide!”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ambush on the artillery convoy goes forward as planned and Rey has to face her enemy much closer than she expected.

# Chapter 5

# O tiger’s heart wrapped in a woman’s hide!

[ ](https://imgur.com/JBGHz9I)

Kylo Ren sits in the roaring car, jerking and bouncing next to a fair, long limbed German officer in his thirties. They open a column of four trucks and two other cars, which bobbles along the narrow road. Dust and pebbles fly all around them as the car is roofless. Kylo’s black fez is now as grey as his uniform’s jacket and the Lieutenant’s expression betrays all of his frustration. His jaw is clenched, his lips pursed and his eyes a mere crease, not to mention the frowning lines on his forehead.

“Mein Freund” – His companion pats his shoulder – “Why that worried expression? It is a beautiful day! Look…” – He says as he gestures towards the nature surrounding them. “Beautiful, Hauptmann Kehrer, that’s for sure” – Kylo grimaces in his direction trying to fake a smile. The engine sputters as they take a steep turn.

“I am glad my small convoy was deemed worthy of an escorting party, Lieutenant” – Kehrer remarks.

“General Snoke wanted to make sure you would safely reach your destination. Our mountains are becoming increasingly more dangerous as soldiers desert to join the rebels and all sorts of scoundrels swarm the valleys.”

“Yes, I have precise instructions from my commanding officers to reach the battalion stationed in Cuneo to help counter those attacks. It seems the Republican Guard is completely ineffective against them and the battalion has already suffered more losses than anticipated.” - Kehrer turns his face towards Kylo with a wide, smug grin. The young German officer was not an unpleasant company, Kylo had discovered during their journey from the French border, and he had his reasons to be proud of his country’s achievements, but was altogether a bit too keen on expressing it, for his taste.

“We will reach our destination in a few hours” – He assures him. The car completes the turn. The wall on their right gives way to a gentler slope, shadowed from the sun by the height of the green, snow dotted mountain. With a frill, a bird suddenly takes the air from a bush not far away. Both officers turn to observe it. Its black and white wings shimmer in the terse mountain air against the cerulean sky as it lets out its chirpy call.

“How nice, a snowfinch!” – Kehrer exclaims. Kylo follows the bird’s flight with him, then a gleam coming from the bush the bird had left captures his attention.

“Down!” – He shouts, pushing Kehrer’s head at the height of his knees.

“Was ist los?” – The man only has the time to protest before the loud bangs of firearms thunder throughout the whole valley. He quickly straightens his back again and draws a shiny Walther P38 to join Kylo in returning the fire. Their driver breaks violently, halting the whole column; the three of them take cover behind the car. The other four trucks’ occupants and the six men from the Guard at Kylo’s orders try do the same. The driver of the truck behind them cries out in agony as he falls to the ground with his arms spread as wings. He had been hit from behind while running.

“Take cover, all of you, quickly!” – Kylo roars. Kehrer is doing the same for his men.

“In Deckung! Schnell, schnell, schnell!” – He is shrieking in his mother tongue. Shouting and yelling, Dameron’s men leave their cover and run down the slope, towards the convoy. A few of them fall under the feeble but unyielding line of fire coming from the trucks. Others start ransacking the vehicles, covered from enemy fire by their comrades.

“Go, go, go!” – Dameron incites his men – “We don’t have forever!”

  
Taking cover behind a tree Rey is aiming in the direction of the shots, slightly lightheaded from the loud noise and the adrenaline rush. From afar, she sees the head of one of the German drivers appear at regular intervals in the now hollow windows of the truck’s door. She tightens her grip on the rifle; it is cold under her fingers. A sharp intake of air then she holds her breath for a few seconds. Bang! The soldier stumbles for a couple steps, then disappears down the cliff, falling backwards with a silent scream painted on his face.

“Oh, God…” – Rey mutters to herself. She collapses on the grass as her eyes start to water without her being able to restrain the tears – “God almighty, what did I do?”

“You did well, Rey!” – Han shouts at her. The chaos around them fades from Rey’s ears. – “You did what was necessary.”

“He was so young!” – Rey bawls. Han runs towards her then takes her gently in his arms.

“I know, Rey, I know…We need you here though; there’s no time for this right now.” – He tries to encourage her - “Tell me why you came here.” – He adds when he sees she isn’t calming down. He takes her by the shoulders - “Why did you choose to be here? Tell me, now!” Rey tries to breathe regularly but her body still shakes.

“Because we need those weapons”

“And why do we need them?”

“To defend ourselves from them…”

“Why do they attack us?”

“Because we want freedom...”

“There you go!” – Han steps back. Rey’s vision clears a bit and she manages to get back up. They look at each other before throwing themselves down the slope, swerving between the trees as long as possible. Panting for the effort Rey stops behind a tall pine to observe. No cover afterwards. Han joins her on her right; he smiles quickly then nods towards the others, who were hiding behind a huge rock. He throws himself towards them. Rey quickly follows. She had never ran as fast. Breathing heavily, she takes another moment to observe the situation. Dameron’s men had split up, taking turns to run back and forth between the trucks and the hiding spot with the retrieved weapons.

Rey suddenly feels Han stiffen. She looks in his same direction and her eyes register a massive black-haired figure who is gesturing vehemently towards his companions.

“It can’t be...” - Han whispers. He moves slightly forward, slowly and carefully, then suddenly he is out of cover, right in the middle of the line of fire.

“Han, no...” - Rey whispers.

“Ben” - Han bellows - “Ben Solo. Come out!” Everything stops as the man Rey knows as Kylo Ren solemnly walks forward, facing Han. Everyone seems to gasp in unison as Kylo points his weapon towards him. The older man shrugs. His eyes are fixed on those of his son, searching for the boy he has raised.

“What now, Ben, you will shoot me? Do it. If it makes you happy, do it.” 

Kylo’s hands tremble subtly but his eyes are red with fury.

“You fool...” - His voice is a low rumble, charged with an ominous promise of threat - “What did you think you would achieve, showing up here...”

“I just wanted to see the face of my son again.”

Kylo starts laughing. He goes on and on and on.

“I am not Ben Solo anymore. I haven’t been for many years. I ask you again, what do you want?” Han smirks. He turns towards Dameron and looks at him for a long, lingering second, then focuses back on his son, his pupils dilated with unexpressed emotions.

“You know what I want, son”. His tone is solemn and full of sorrow. Lowering his gaze, he spreads his arms, offering himself up to his son’s wrath. Rey sees Kylo’s knuckles become white on the gun’s grip. He gulps...

“No!” - Rey throws herself at Han, knocking him over. Startled by her shout Kylo misses his shot. He resembles a tiger as he paces towards her and Han.

“Take them both!” - He orders his men as he points his gun at Rey again. His yell seems to awaken all the others and what follows is a ferocious crossfire. Two men fall, three, four. It's all pained cries and deafening bangs.

“Take the trucks and let’s go!” – Rey hears Dameron order as she slithers on the gravelly road trying to shield Han from Kylo’s gun while the man himself tries to move her away. Meanwhile Kylo’s men had reached them. They grab both from behind. Rey engages a fierce fight, kicking and punching with all her strength. She manages to escape the hold of her captor and she turns to face him, then she picks her gun from the ground. The man charges against her with his own weapon drawn then drops to the earth, Rey had centered his heart. Shaking and gasping Rey turns around. Two of Kylo’s men are dragging an unconscious Han to a car, Dameron’s men in the meantime had boarded the trucks and all were shouting towards Rey to join them. Kylo was observing his father, who now lied in the car, with a smirk on his face. Rey sprints towards the truck Dameron is in and the movement catches Kylo’s attention.

“Oh no, missy, you aren’t going anywhere!” – He starts running behind her. Rey covers the short distance between her and the truck in a few jumps but Kylo does the same and soon catches her by the wrist.

“Full speed!” – Poe shouts as he grabs Rey by her other wrist while hanging from the open door.

“Let me go, you monster!” – Rey winces at Kylo. When the truck starts moving Kylo aims his gun at Poe.

“Release her!”

“You wish!” – Poe hisses as he tries to drag her closer to him. The vehicle accelerates. Rey pulls the arm Kylo was holding and jumps ahead. The pain on both her wrists was becoming almost unbearable. She considers her options, and she lets Poe go.

“No…” – He whispers. Kylo’s expression turns triumphant.

“Stop the truck!” – Rey hears Poe shout behind her as she turns to face Kylo. He was still holding her, his gloved hand warm as fire against the bare skin of her thin wrist. Poe and a few others dash towards them, so do Kylo’s and Kehrer’s men, but Rey is ready. She lifts her right hand, which was still holding the gun and points it at Kylo.

“You should have disarmed me…” – She spouts. Kylo’s smirk falls.

“Don’t you dare…”

“Oh, I do!” – Rey hisses – “I told you Han’s teaching would have proved useful...” All the men circling them raise their weapons but Rey and Kylo just stare at each other, anything else is out of their range right now. Rey shivers at the fury she can see in Kylo’s eyes.

He would incinerate her with a mere glance if he could. He steps closer to her, gun and gaze pinned to Rey’s small figure. Her determination firing up his own one. With a quick motion, she hits the hand with which he is clasping her wrist and pushes him back so hard he almost loses balance. Stunned by the force of the impact he then only registers the booming echo of her shot, followed by a stinging, acute pain in his shoulder. With a roar, ignoring his injury, he paces towards her as she tries to join Poe and the others. He tackles her to the ground, pinning her with her back against the sharp pebbles.

“Don’t you dream of escaping” – He whispers while staring directly into her eyes.

Before Poe, or anyone else, can intervene, Rey grabs a stone. Wiggling under Kylo’s weight, she smashes the stone vigorously against the right side of his face. Blood sprinkles on her, he jumps up and she finally gets away from his hold. Rey, Poe and all the rebels sprint at once back to the trucks as the others open fire. From the safety of the speeding truck, Rey looks behind. Kylo was leaning on Kehrer with his face a pool of blood and all the others were shooting towards the now out of range trucks. She couldn’t see Han anymore. Rey tumbles back on the seat next to Poe with a sigh and hides her face between knees and hands. After a few minutes, she looks up and stares into the distance, her face as if carved in stone. Poe strokes her back.

“You did so well, Rey, so well!” 

-

“Rey!” – Finn calls – “Hey Rey!”

She lets the pen roll on the table, nonchalantly.

“Yes, I’m here…” – She folds the paper in four, then hides it in her bra. When she walks towards him, her pace is brisk and light and a smile lights up her face.

“Rose is here…” – Finn says – “I just wanted to tell you”. Rey nods.

“Thank you!”

Chatter and noise render Finn’s warning almost superfluous as Rose enters the room followed by the usual crowd of impatient men. Rey chuckles. Her and Finn sit on a bench, observing the others. A few minutes later Rose is done with her duties as a relay and crushes on the bench with them.

“Whew…” – She smiles at them – “Oh, Rey, Finn, I almost forgot, your NLC cards!”

She pulls out two folded paper cards.

***N.L.C.**

**The voluntary fighters for freedom**

Is written on the front page. Rey carefully opens the one Rose had given her. Her name had been added with a typewriter. Same for her date of birth and a serial number.

“Finally!” - She grins. Both Finn and Rose smile back at her. Finn spots Poe across the room and calls him.

“Poe, hey Poe! Look who got their cards”. Poe joins them, beaming with pride.

“Then it’s time you also got these…” – He briefly walks away, then comes back with two green neckerchiefs – “I had been waiting to give you these at a special time!”

He hands them to Finn and Rey.

“Guys, listen up!” – He shouts – “Finn and Rey are officially with us now,” – Whoops and cheers erupt from the crowded room – “Let us give them the warmest welcome!”

Rey grabs her neckerchief tighter as the ovation becomes almost deafening. She smiles to herself, then she looks at her card again. “Partisan fighter”, it says, and it is absolutely spot on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly hope you enjoyed the chapter, let me know!
> 
> *The NLC (National Liberation Committee) was a political and miltary organization under which all partisans of different political and religious creeds had grouped, starting right after the armistice, on September 9, 1943.


	7. Pulvis et Umbra sumus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The squadron has to make a decision about how to move forward in the fight against their enemy. Rey's correspondence with Kylo, meanwhile, has not stopped.

# Chapter 6

# Pulvis et umbra sumus

[ ](https://imgur.com/AcimvpW)

Rey ties her new green neckerchief in place, carefully knotting the two tails over the grey cardigan she is wearing, a faint smile still on her lips.

“You were so brave yesterday Rey, that was incredible” – Poe puts a hand on her shoulder – “I’m very impressed!”

“We must do something for Han though...” – Rey argues – “Where could they have taken him?”

“I’m sorry, I have no idea...” – Poe admits with a sad shake of his head. Someone calls him from the other side of the room and Rey is now alone with Rose; Finn is laughing with Lupo not far away from them.

“Hey...” – Rose delicately nudges her – “Everything all right?”

“Yeah, a bit tired – Rey nods.

“I heard Finn hailing your bravery left and right earlier, you must have been quite a sight yesterday!” – Gushes Rose – “I heard you smashed a stone on Kylo Ren’s face, wow!”

Rey tugs at the hem of the cardigan.

“No, I...I just defended myself, that’s all…”

“But Kylo Ren, wow…”

“Why, who is that?” – Rey queries, feigning a very mild interest.

“Oh, he is quite notorious among us, Rey; he has given Poe no rest ever since he interrogated him a couple years ago. Poe would not say anything, and we all think he got tortured. You should have seen the state he was in when he came back to Dronero, he used to live there…And his wife, Amylin, had just died. It was horrible. He hasn’t talked about it but it was pretty clear they hadn’t been kind to him.”

“Wow, I had no idea…” – Rey mutters.

“I also meet other squadrons in the valley” – adds Rose – “and they all know about Ren…” – She smacks her thighs and stands up – “Well then, I need to go now. Thanks for the chat, Rey”. The two share a hug, then Rose leaves the room. Rey sits back, lost in her own thoughts. After a couple minutes, she approaches Poe.

“Hey, would you mind if I go for a few hours? There’s something I need to do…”

“It’s all right, go” – He says, and quickly returns to his conversation. Rey runs after Rose who had already reached the road.

“Mind if I join you?” – Rey says, out of breath – “I have to go to Dronero”

“Not at all!” – Rose smiles kindly. The two girls board their bicycles and begin their ride.

“I’m so glad the cold weather has stopped” – Rose remarks – “Bit too early for the snow we got!”

“Yeah” – Agrees Rey – “Hope it lasts a little more…”

-

The day is warm and sunlight brightens the large room through the big windows. White clad nurses come and go between the beds, taking care of a cut, feeding someone sour tasting medicines, or simply gifting people a kind word. Kylo Ren lies in thick pyjamas, half of his face covered in pristine bandages, in a bed too short for him. The sheet and covers are gathered at his ankles in a chaotic blotch as he kicks them repeatedly away with a frustrated huff.

“Lieutenant!” – Exclaims a young, bespectacled nurse, approaching him and clicking her tongue in an exaggerated fashion – “The mess you’ve made! You should really keep your covers on... ” She motions as if to cover him but he takes her wrist and starts slowly clenching it until she winces and her eyes sparkle with tears of pain. The image of a hazel-eyed girl struggling against his hold flashes in his mind. With a sudden movement, he releases the nurse and she rushes away from him. It is only when she is far, that he gently pulls out a folded sheet of paper from under the pillow and opens it.

October 23, 1943

_I truly do not know why I am writing you this, against my better judgment_

_and all the principles of loyalty towards the comrades, whom I hold so dear._

_I am not even sure this will reach you. I guess I just want an answer to the question_

_that has been keeping me awake the past two nights. Why?_

_Why would anyone ever do something like that?_

_You let your own kind-spirited father be manhandled by a bunch of brutes._

_You were about to kill him yourself, had I not intervened._

_How on earth is the loyalty to an ideology more important than your own flesh and blood._

_There are people who did not have the chance of growing up with a loving father,_

_as I have no doubt Han was. I am one of those people._

_I know I will regret telling you this but I need you to understand what I mean_

_so that maybe you will take my question seriously._

_Oh, I am so glad you were there to see us take down your weak, pathetic little minions, Ben._

_Rest assured, the resistance will not yield. Not until each and every one of you filthy fascist scum is wiped from the face of the Earth._

Rey

One week. One whole week since he had received it and he still had not answered. What was he supposed to write anyway? That Han wasn’t the amazing father she thought? That it was the first time he had seen him in years and that it had taken his breath away? That bringing him to justice for treason to the party had been one of his main goals in joining the Militia? He could maybe answer her other question. “How on earth is the loyalty to an ideology more important than your own flesh and blood” she had written. From the corner of his left eye he spots another nurse, attracts her attention and demands something with which to write. A few minutes later she comes back with a wooden tray table, paper and a pen. She lays it over his lap and he glares at her when she tries to help him slide up the bed. Kylo grunts and his forehead glows with sweat drops once he is done, but he manages to sit comfortably enough, adjusts the tray and starts writing.

November 8, 1943

‘ _You vixen_ ’, he pens, then cancels it with a thick line.

‘ _Rey_ ’, he almost paints the letters with the black ink.

_‘What an interesting letter you sent me._

_I am glad I can explain a few things to you with my reply._

_I am afraid you are deluding yourself if you think an ideal cannot be stronger than family ties._

_So many people are ready to give the people closest to them away for much less than the belief in something._

_I also must confess myself completely astounded at your reproach for the arrest of a known criminal,_

_who chose to defy every single one of the laws our Leader has so wisely provided us with,_

_especially after the damage you caused me yourself._

_Because that is, what my father is. A known criminal._

_He is weak and foolish, and you have no idea to which extent.’_

Kylo looks at the paper in front of him, hesitates for a second, then keeps on writing.

_‘Despite your stubbornness, I am convinced you are reasonable enough_

_to understand that what we the party does is for the best._

_To have a better organized world where everyone is provided for and no child will suffer._

_If we had succeeded earlier, your father might not have become an alcoholic and bankrupt gambler,_

_and your mother would not be in prison as well for Crimes against Societal Moral._

_I can guarantee you, this war was a necessary pain in order to re-establish our rightful place._

_Italy is the heart of a centuries old culture and its dignity has been trampled upon for far too long,_

_something had to be done! I truly hope you can reflect on my words, if my reply will reach you, and finally see the truth._

Kylo Ren

He falls back on the cushion, dropping the pen and clutching his head when a sudden wave of pain flashes through his skull. He lets out a frustrated growl then folds the letter and lays it on the tiny bedside stand on his right, with the pen on top of it. A nurse catches his movements and removes the tray. When she turns away, he flops heavily on the mattress, finally covers himself up and curls on his left side, blankly staring at the surrounding beds. She will understand, of course she will.

-

“Everybody, gather round!” – Poe calls. Rey and Finn drop the guns they were cleaning and join the others in the small circle of people around the Commander.

“First off. I got news from his wife that Han is in prison in Torino, battered but well enough.” Relieved murmurs make the rounds among his audience.

“Yes, it’s good news; at least we know where he is.” – Continues Poe – “Now, in other not so good news, both the Republican Guard and the German army are getting reinforcements. The King’s troops and the Allies do their best to avoid them spreading more towards the South, and we all know the Germans have taken Rome without almost raising a finger in September. Our orders are to hit officers, munitions, depots, both German and Fascist ones, as hard as we can. Things like our ambush three weeks ago are the way to go. We also need to try and find out who is collaborating with the Wehrmacht and the SS...Those traitors…” – He takes a moment to clear his throat – “We need a better and more efficient recruitment strategy, we have to grow in numbers, and fast, while N.L.C. has the overall view of things. That is why we are going to leave this base and start moving. We must connect better with the other squadrons and we should cover a bigger territory. I won’t lie to you, it will not be a cosy life out there, especially now that winter is approaching, but we have to do it. We don’t want to leave our country in the hands of those filthy Nazi bastards, do we?”

“Well said, Poe!” a voice comes from behind Rey, and a few other people join in agreement.

“Let’s take our country back, guys!” – interjects someone else, as the consensus grows even louder.

“Tomorrow” – Poe raises his voice to make himself be heard – “Tomorrow, we leave. It’s becoming very dangerous to remain too long in the same place.” Another round of agreement spreads through the crowd, then everybody quickly scatters. Rey and Finn return to the table and Poe soon follows them.

“Rey, there’s something I need to tell you” – He starts – “Leia, Han’s wife, told me she needs someone trusted to bring the orders out to the squadrons from Torino. The letters are too at danger of getting lost and her correspondence is tightly monitored. She says that no one she knows in the city seems apt. I suggested you. You are fast, and you could fight if the situation required it. What do you think?”

“Wow” – Rey mutters – “It’s a huge responsibility!”

“I know...It means you would have to travel from Torino to here whenever necessary, it’s not an easy task. Also, if anyone sees you, well, none of us would be able to help. You’d be on your own...”

“I see…Well, I can always give it a try, no?” – She answers – “Finn and Rose could keep me updated on your situation, whenever possible.” She gestures towards Finn, who nods.

“Are you sure?” – Poe asks with a worried expression on his face.

“Yes, I am” – Rey assures him.

“Good, it’s settled then! Oh, I forgot. When you were out hunting, this morning, Rose gave me this for you.”

When she spots the handwriting on the envelope the Commander is handing her all colour drains from Rey’s cheeks and she takes it with trembling hands. Neither Poe nor Finn, luckily, seems to have noticed her change of expression.

“Thank you!” – She whispers.

A man from the squadron diverts Poe’s attention, Rey steps away from Finn and flops on a chair in front of the fire. She opens Kylo’s letter. Gosh, she did not expect him to actually answer. And she would soon meet his mother. How would she be, Leia? Rey thinks of a strong-willed, intense woman. She must be the one Kylo has taken his fervour from; Han is brave and keen, but Rey could not find in him any of Kylo’s vehemence. She looks down, starts reading and her blood begins to boil. What a haughty, hypocritical piece of work! Her mind dwells on her memory of his raven like hair, slightly too long for military customs. His eyes; a warm shade of brown, not black as she had thought up until the ambush, with golden and green flecks in daylight. His massive hands and long, lean fingers, which had trembled in front of Han. The broadness of his chest, so firm against her own. The vigorous muscles on his arm, which she had not been able not to notice as they flexed under the tight fitting grey jacket of his uniform. His whisper down her neck. ‘Don’t you dream of escaping’ he had said … She shakes the thoughts away and lets the anger fill her again. She must not think of him like that. She must not… Rey spins on the chair and gets on her feet, fetches another scrap of mostly clean paper from the kitchen and starts her reply.

November 16, 1943

_Ben,_

_I am worried and truly astounded by your blindness._

_The violence, pain, and anguish the Italian population has been submitted to since the war, and even before,_

_are not collateral damage in what you say the party “does for the best”._

_Where is the freedom? Answer to this. Why should we submit our freedom of thought, and movement, to a bunch of brutes?_

_Can’t you see the way you are behaving yourself? Oh, and another thing. How dare you talk about my family?_

_You don’t know the hardships they went through and who they are.’_

The image of a lousy smelling man with a bottle in his left hand and his right hand ready to strike a battered woman crying in a corner on the floor with tousled hair and torn clothes flashes in her mind and tears sting at the corner of her eyes.

_‘Don’t you ever try and mention them again._

_Our correspondence ends here, anyway. I have been given another task and I will not be in Dameron’s squadron anymore._

_Good luck in finding them again._

Rey

A muffled, anguished cry interrupts her. She raises her head and sees Cit, surrounded by Poe, many other comrades, and a raggedly looking man she does not know. She hides the letter and walks closer. Finn does the same, positioning himself next to Rey. Agitated whispers fill the whole room.

“What happened?”

“Oh, God…”

“That is horrifying”

Cit falls on his knees, shaken by violent sobs, as Poe puts a hand on his right shoulder, trying to comfort him.

“It seems like our enemy has just reached new peaks of evil, my friends.” – He says, his voice little more than a murmur – “This man has just informed us that in retaliation for an ambush, two officers named Peiper and Wisch have guided their men to Boves and…” – His throat clogs for a second – “they occupied it. Our comrades had taken two of their men hostage, and had the body of a third one. Don Bernardi, the parish priest, and another man tried to negotiate. It seems like Peiper said that if they would get the hostages back they would leave the town, so they got them back, and the body of their fellow soldier. They burnt down the whole village, friends. No mercy for children or elderly people. Twenty-five people are dead. Cit’s mother, grandmother and his three children were there…” The man wails at the words and punches the dusty ground.

“I will see them dead. I will see them all dead. Mark my words.” – Growls Cit. He then raises and punches the air – “Are you with me?” – He bellows. The whole room yells a resounding 'Yes'. Cit hides his face between his hands and continues sobbing. Shaken to her core by the news, Rey brings a hand to the pocket of her cardigan and feels the letter. That one would be the last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * ["The Boves massacre](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boves_massacre) is a very sad and real event, which tragically even repeated itself the next year.
> 
> Thanks for reading the chapter, let me know what you think in the comments.


	8. Ripples

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time of changes! Rey and Bibí make their journey to Torino, and news reach the Solo household.

# Chapter 7

# Ripples

[ ](https://imgur.com/px5KB6e)

_It is a cloudy day and Rey is waiting for Ian outside his school. A colleague had agreed on exchanging half of the shift with her because she had to run some errands, and she was using the chance to spend some time with her boy. As usual, when the bell rings, the teachers guide all the children outside. The pupils orderly march behind them two by two, then they are dismissed. Ian is so engrossed in a conversation with a classmate, who Rey knows as Patrick, his best friend, that he almost misses his mother. When he spots her, his lips open in a wide grin, and the two boys soon reach her._

_“Good morning, Mrs. Solo” – Patrick greets her with a little bow of his blonde head._

_“Mother” – smiles Ian. Rey smiles back._

_“Hello Patrick. Sorry, I will have to steal Ian from you this afternoon.”_

_“Oh it’s all right. We have been assigned a research project for the science class and we decided to do it together. It is about a special kind of butterfly, the blue ones from South America, and we were planning a visit to the library.”_

_“That is such a nice project! Well, fear not, Ian will be all yours tomorrow!”_

-

“There you go, fresh as a rose” – Poe pinches his son’s cheek and observes him from head to toe while keeping him at arm’s length. The boy is wearing his Sunday attire. A plain yellow shirt under black velvet short-legged overalls and a brown jacket slightly too big for him. Poe gets on one knee, pulls him closer and hugs him tight. Bibí rests his head on his shoulder and his blonde hair shines in the pale sunlight of the autumn morning.

“Never forget, my boy” – Poe takes his face between his hands and whispers – “That you’re the most precious thing I have”. The boy nods. Poe strokes one of his cheeks than gets up again, takes him by the hand, and guides him towards Rey who is standing close by.

“Thank you, Rey. Once more, words cannot really express my gratitude.” Bibí is standing right in front of him, shuffling his feet on the ground and looking down. Rey extends a hand towards him; he looks up and finally takes it after a long second. She squeezes his small hand tight - ‘it’s all right’ - and he does it back - ‘Not really, but thank you’. Both father and son put on a stoic expression, Poe salutes his son, bringing a hand to his forehead and the boy does the same.

“May the stars guide your path” – They recite in unison. A sad smile quickly flickers on their faces and for a lingering moment, they stare at each other, as if to memorize every one of their features. Poe then turns around, walks through the door, glimpses back for one more second and closes it behind him. Bibí clutches her hand tighter.

“Let’s go” – Rey breaks the silence, adjusts one of her backpack’s straps and starts walking – “We have a long way to go”. The boy lets her hand go, puts his hands in the pockets of his overalls and silently follows her.

-

_The grey clouds hover upon Geneva all afternoon long as Rey and Ian walk through the city, but it is always special, spending time with her son. The 10 hours shifts at the factory, with only Sunday off, leave very little time for anything else. Luckily enough Frau Heller, their kind neighbour, is always willing to help with Ian whenever necessary. The boy suddenly halts in front of the colourful window of a toyshop, mouth agape. Rey looks as well and she hardly keeps her own mouth from doing the same The most beautiful, detailed miniature train made its way through an elaborate and perfectly recreated mountain landscape._

_-_

The train whistles, startling both Bibí and Rey. They had been sitting for hours in an almost empty third class wagon, Rey clutching her backpack and Bibí staring silently outside the window. She knew all too well what leaving a parent behind meant, so she had settled on giving him all the time he needed. She already had a soft spot for that curly haired rascal, so when Poe had not mentioned anything about the boy, following the news they were going to start moving around, she had suggested bringing him to Leia with her, for his own safety. He had agreed, after quite a lot of thought, so the next morning, at the first lights of day, he had given Rey Bibí’s few belongings and had quickly explained him the situation. Rey now carried with her Poe’s message to Leia and a lot of worry about the little one’s feelings.

-

_Rey hardly manages to juggle all the bags she is carrying and her son’s hand. Ian is jumping up the steps in front of their apartment building one by one with his feet together, pulling her arm each time._

_“Will you please stop doing that?” – She blurts out, and abruptly stops walking. Ian lets her hand go and stops as well._

_“Sorry, mum! Do you want me to carry something for you?”_

_How could you resist those wide, sweet eyes? She smiles, sighs, then starts going up the steps again._

_“Yes, please!” She hands him a small paper bag, opens the door and goes through it after him. Once on the ground floor she checks the letterbox. It is just a customary reflex; they did not receive much mail. That is why she almost misses the small, unassuming, white little envelope sitting on the bottom. Her hand stops mid-air for the surprise but she soon grabs it and eagerly inspects it. When Rey opens the door, the small apartment is completely dark and silent. She checks the clock in the kitchen while quickly starting to store everything away. Almost five o’clock. Ben’s shift at the store will soon be over. He will be home in about one hour, Rey calculates. The letter lays in plain view on the table, against the fruit bowl._

_“Mummy?” – Ian pokes his head in the kitchen._

_“Yes, what is it, Ian?” – She quickly replies._

_“Will you and daddy tell me something more about your story after dinner?”_

_“Oh, I think so, if he is not too tired, but it’s his special day, so we’ll see…”_

_“Thank you!” – He chirps, and runs to the bedroom through the short corridor._

_Amazing how a simple object can feel so alive, sometimes. That is exactly how the letter feels to Rey though, while dicing the onion and sprinkling the salt and parsley over the ground beef and pork mixture in a bowl, for the meatballs, or when she fills the pot of water for the pasta. It feels strangely heavy too, when she moves it with the bowl to the small windowsill in front of the sink in order to make space to dress the table._

_She sinks the meatballs in the tomato sauce and lets them simmer away. Then, she drains the spaghetti and pours them in a large bowl, together with part of the sauce, and puts a lid on the pan with the remaining sauce and the meatballs. She places it on the table right in time to hear the keys rattle in the front door._

_“Daddy!” – Ian screams. Rey sees him run from the bedroom to the door and jump in his father’s arms. The two laugh together for a few seconds then Ben puts the boy down._

_“Becoming quite heavy, aren’t you?” – He winks. He joins Rey in the kitchen, Ian trailing after him, and kisses her softly._

_“This smell delicious…” – Ben whispers in Rey’s ears, sending a shiver down her spine as the first time he had done it. She bites her lip and blushes._

_“How was your day, darling?” – She enquires as he drops on a chair – “Ian, go wash your hands before eating”. The boy speeds out of the room._

_“Oh, it was a quiet day” – Answers Ben, yawning – “Quite boring if you ask me…You?”_

_Rey clears her throat, picks the letter from the windowsill and hands Ben the still sealed letter. His eyes widen with surprise when he recognises the handwriting. He tears the envelope open and Rey can see his eyes dart on the paper._

_“Mother is ill…” – He enunciates drily, visibly gulping down a tightening knot in his throat. Rey sits in front of him, taking his hand. She can feel him shake. He raises his gaze to meet hers._

_“I’m so sorry, Ben” – Rey murmurs._

_-_

There she is. As soon as they step down the train, a short, well-dressed, brown-haired woman in her fifties standing on the platform captures Rey’s attention. On her head is a simple, black, bell-shaped hat with a small white flower and a light coloured coat with a thin fur lining around the neck and a dark brown belt cinching the waist, wraps her figure down to her thighs. A brown, plain, knee-length skirt is visible under the coat. Her gloved hands clutch a small, rectangular black bag. It is the shape of her face and the lines of her lips, which actually convince Rey: that is definitely Ben Solo’s mother. She feels so miserable in her own rough attire. All the women passing by look so elegant. None of them actually wears trousers, she notices. Oh well, who cares about the clothes, after all. She is not here to look pretty. She plucks up her courage, guides Ian by the hand towards the woman, who was sternly looking at the small watch on her wrist, and clears her throat. 

“Mrs. Organa?”

Leia’s eyes turn steely at the sound. She looks down her small glasses at the tall, unpolished girl standing in front of her and the sad looking young boy whose hand she was holding.

“I did not know you would come with your son…” – She remarks with a soft voice.

“Oh, Bibí is not my son” – Rey quickly corrects her, blushing – “Here, look…” – She frantically searches her bulging backpack and pulls out Poe’s letter. She hands it to her, who quickly opens it and reads it.

“I see…” –says Leia – “Let’s go, it’s not too far from here”. She gestures towards the hallway and starts guiding them out of the station. The building is imposing, and huge, in Rey’s eyes, but it is quite evident that a recent bombing has left a heavy mark. The metal skeleton of the ceiling is hollow; many windowpanes are too and some of the brickwork is missing. As they go through the archways, which divide the station from the square in front of it, more and more ruined, gutted buildings offer themselves to Rey and Bibí’s gaze. Surprisingly, a bit of snow sprinkles the city’s landscape, mirroring Rey’s already gloomy mood. She wraps her scarf tighter against her neck and does the same for Bibí as they follow Leia’s brisk steps under the arcades opposite the station.

_-_

_Ben and Rey hear Ian’s steps coming from the bathroom and try to shake the worried expressions from their faces. The boy runs into the room waiving a drawing:_

_“Happy Birthday, daddy!” – He screams at the top of his lungs and races in his father’s arms once more. Ben takes him in his lap and looks at the drawing. It’s a huge blue butterfly, perfectly drawn, with “Happy Birthday” written in a corner in neat letters._

_“Thank you! It’s very beautiful” – He kisses the boy on a cheek and lifts him up so he will stand again – “Now let’s eat, or it will all go cold!” He shoots a glance at Rey and the corners of her lips curve slightly up, encouragingly._

_A couple hours later, bellies full and hearts content, Rey and Ben tuck a very drowsy Ian into bed and head for the bathroom. As soon as they are alone Rey decides to return to the topic._

_“What do you want to do, Ben?” – She asks, stroking his right hand with both of hers._

_“I want to go. I need to see her.” – His eyes turn darker and his voice deeper, but he sounds convinced. With a swift pull, he gets her close to him. Rey rests her head on his chest. So warm and welcoming. He lifts her chin and bends down, staring into her eyes. Their lips clash, eager and yearning and Ben’s hands start stroking Rey’s back. The way with two hands he could almost cover the whole length of her torso had always been one of her favourite things and Rey lets out a greedy moan._

_“Shh…” – He whispers, his mouth still on hers, sending chills down her spine again. She chuckles but he soon makes her go breathless with another kiss. She delicately bites his lip in joking retaliation and it is his turn to chuckle. Rey fondles with his jumper, and he helps her remove it, leaving him in his white shirt. She then unbuttons her own thin, rose blouse, letting him have a peek at her new silk négligée._

_“Ha, the look you have in your eyes right now is worth all the money this cost me” – She quips. He licks his lips, enthralled, and sits on the brink of the tub while she steps forward, tugging at his buttons. His shirt quickly joins the jumper on the floor._

_“You will be the death of me, Mrs. Solo”_

_“Happy Birthday, Ben…” – She smiles while bending down to kiss him again. Ben’s legs wrap her firmly and push her completely against him. Both of them grin, oblivious to anything else._

_-_

The building looks old, grey and worn out, as all the ones she has encountered so far while following Leia’s footsteps, including the arcades. Grandiose, maybe, as it would suit a city which had been the country’s first capital, but overall not as impressive as Rey expected. The only exception being the shiny, new marble columns and carved shop windows of Via Roma. The woman has stopped in front of a large gate, after a twenty-minute walk, at most. Her movements are slow, but there is an assertive air to Leia that Rey cannot help but admire. She pulls out a set of keys, and looks left and right before inserting it in the lock. She opens it and steps aside to let them in. Rey and Bibí go through the gate and find themselves under a massive archway. Leia leads them up a granite stairway on their right and they soon meet the porter, who greets them coldly with a look of suspicion in her eyes. Leia’s apartment is on the second floor.

“Right, here we are” – She says while closing the door behind her and hanging the keys to one of the holders on the right side of it - “You must be tired after your journey” – She continues while guiding them from the dimly lit entrance to the large, bright living room. Rey looks around the room. She has never seen anything quite like it in her whole life. Those armchairs seems so cosy! All the furniture looks so refined and glossy, despite clearly not being new. Leia rings a small bell and a thin, mousy looking young girl enters the room.

“This is Lucia. She will help you with whatever you need.” Lucia bows. Leia moves towards a door, on the right side of the room. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. Dinner will be at seven”. That said, she goes through the door and Lucia guides Rey and Bibí back to the entrance, she makes them turn left and pass two doors.

“The guest bathroom is over there” – She explains, pointing right. She walks past the twin beds and opens the thick, dark green curtains, which shade the room.

“Anything else?” – The girl asks. Rey shakes her head so Lucia excuses herself and leaves. Rey drops on the bed closer to the window, relishing in the softness of the light blue bedspread. She lets out a contented sigh, then looks at Bibí. The boy is sitting on the edge of the second bed, shoulders hunched. Rey gets back up, crosses the small space between the beds and settles right next to him.

“Hey…” She whispers. Bibí looks up. “It will be all right, don’t worry!” Rey tries to console him, at least a bit. He shrugs and lies down, turning his back to her. With a creaking sound of the wooden frame of the bed, she stands up and starts unpacking the few things in her backpack. She divides her and Bibí’s clothes between the shelves of the tall wardrobe in the left corner of the room and lays her pen near the lamp on the nightstand that occupies the gap between the two beds. Struck by a wave of curiosity, she opens the nightstand’s drawer and is surprised to find a small, leather bound notebook. She picks it up and slowly goes through the densely scribbled pages.

November 5

Snowing. Michele told me there is a meeting with Lieutenant Snoke from the Militia to find new recruits next week. Will try to attend.

November 7

Lieutenant Snoke was great. Finally someone who talks with passion and knowledge.

November 12

What an atrocious day. Again. Mother and Father found out about Snoke. I had to endure a day with their friends and to top it off, Mother has gifted me another one of her anti-fascist books. At least Father has agreed to spend a day with me hunting soon. Let us see if he will keep his word, ha! Happy Birthday to me.

Rey shuts the notebook close and straightens her back at once. That really felt wrong. She would stop reading right now. She feels something sticking out of the notebook’s frame and looks down again. It is a picture, almost cut in two. There are four people in it: an unmistakable young Ben, surrounded by three adults. Leia, Han and a second man. He dons blonde hair,and has large, blue eyes with a somewhat distant expression. He stands right behind Ben, with his hands on his shoulders. She turns the picture and reads: Ben’s first day of school. Rey quickly tucks the picture back into the notebook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I again hope you enjoyed the chapter, let me know in the comments :*


	9. Time is the longest distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day of new life for Rey, what will it bring? And Kylo?

# Chapter 8

# Time is the longest distance

[ ](https://imgur.com/bpd48mo)

_“Don’t you yearn for our little home,_

_That waits for us, all shrouded in green?_

_Our sacred nest concealed from the whole world,_

_Brimming with love and mystery…”_

As Rey enters the living room, a warm, honey-like soprano voice, spreads from a lacquered record player, placed on one of the library’s shelves. Leia raises her head from the book she is reading and takes her glasses off to look at her.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, you sleeping beauty!” She says sternly. Rey takes a peek at the big pendulum clock on the far left corner of the room: nine in the morning.

“I am sorry, I had no idea...Didn’t mean to...So cosy…” She quickly tries to justify herself. Leia has managed to rob her of words. With a half smile, she silences Rey’s string of excuses and raises a hand.

“It’s your first night here. I expect better from now on, though”

“Absolutely, Ma’am. It will not happen again.” Rey quickly grabs at the glimmer of teasing she can see at the bottom of the older woman’s eyes. Bibí appears in the room with a bunch of newspapers under his armpit. He walks towards Leia, who points to the coffee table in front of her.

“Thank you, Beniamino.” She tells him, warmly, then rings the small bell that laid on the same table. Lucia quickly makes her entrance from the kitchen.

“Lucia, please, help Rey with her breakfast.” The maid swings her arm hand mid-air, palm up, gesturing towards the door she had just came from. Rey follows her into a wide rectangular room, again well lit by the light coming in through a tall window on her right. The sink is placed right under the window, while on her left, stands one of two tables, already dressed. As she sits down and cuts a generous amount from a simple looking cake, Rey casts her gaze around. The surfaces are painted in a light, very delicate cream shade of white and lined in a warm green. Lucia exhales loudly and shakes her head in front of the stove.

“Problems?” Rey asks, tentatively. The girl nervously shakes her head. “Maybe I can help” Insists Rey.

“It’s just … The ration cards barely last for Madame two months, and now with two more people in the house… I mean no disrespect of course!”

“Don’t worry…” Rey reassures her. The ration cards… She knew about those of course. She had barely used them. She could not cook that well, after all, and being alone she did not need much. She sinks her teeth into the slice of cake. It is as soft as she imagines one of those fluffy white clouds from the sky would be. She eagerly bites on it a second time, soon eating it all.

“Thank you for this, it was delicious.” She says while standing up again. Lucia, who in the meantime had started taking out pans and ingredients from an empty looking cupboard, just faintly smiles in response.

“Enjoy it while it lasts. When it’s over, the only thing I can store long enough before I can go buy the next supplies, are biscuits!” Rey thanks her again and makes her way back to the living room. Leia and Bibí are bent over a map, spread out on the coffee table.

“There you go. This, is where we are now” Leia is showing the boy the location of the city on the map “And this,” She moves her finger towards the Alps and the French border, west of Torino “is Dronero”. Bibí nods.

“Do you know where Father is now, Ma’am?” He looks at Leia.

“I’m afraid not. Not until he will be able to send news.” She answers, mournfully. She then spots Rey entering the room.

“Ah, Rey! Good. There are a couple things I wish to discuss. Please, sit down.” Rey does as instructed. “Now, you are here, as you know, to bring out the orders to the squadron whenever necessary.”

“Yes Ma’am.” She promptly answers. Leia rises from the armchair and walks to the library, taking out one of the books with a seemingly casual motion. She opens it and two sets of papers appear between the pages.

“Here are your new documents, with a false name of course, and the ration cards.” She hands them to Rey who takes a quick look. “You must keep these with you at all times. Remember.” Leia sits again then goes on. “Bibí’s documents will arrive as soon as possible; his presence took me by surprise. We must also agree on what to tell others if they ask about you; the porter for example, I do not trust her at all.” Rey quickly searches for something. 

“We could say I am a relative of yours, a niece for example, who just became a widow, and pretend that Bibí is my son…” Leia leans forward, considering it.

“Yes, it could work… A niece is a clever idea, no one here knows about my brother.” Her eyes are quickly crossed by a shadow Rey identifies as a mix of worry and mourning. Aside from the hidden notebook, she had not come across a single trace of Leia’s family yet in that house. Something must have happened in the past. Something quite horrible must have broken the family.

“…And your appearance.” Leia finishes a sentence Rey has not heard a word of.

“I’m sorry” She shakes her head to enter the present again – “My appearance?”

“Of course, you cannot go around looking like that. You would attract too much attention. I can lend you some of my old clothes; I think they would fit you, even though you are taller than I am. We must do something about your hair too. I will call my friend Clara, I am sure she will do an excellent job.” Rey catches a glimmer of amusement in Bibí’s eyes at Leia’s words. The first sign of it since they had left Dronero. The record player, to which Rey had not been paying much attention, lets out a sorrowful high note, and startles her.

_"Traitor!_

_Oh, my beautiful nest,_

_Stained by mud!_

_I will burst in there._

_You will not have him tonight,_

_I swear!"_

Rey scowls in its direction.

“Ah, that one is ‘Tosca’, perhaps the best of Puccini’s operas.” Explains Leia, bemused by her confusion. Rey blushes. She had never heard anything quite like it! A raging, fiery passion had replaced the longing that oozed from the melody she had heard earlier while entering the room. “Musical theatre is perhaps the thing I have missed the most since the beginning of the war…,” continues Leia, lost in her own memories “Han did not like it that much, he only wanted to look at me all dressed up and glare at anyone who dared talk to me; but Ben, oh, he really…” She stops talking abruptly. Rey perks up at the mention of Leia's son. How long would she be able to conceal from his mother that she knew him?

“Who is Ben?” Bibí asks, blessed childhood innocence.

“My son” replies Leia, gravely. “He had the same name as yours.” Bibí freezes at her use of the past tense.

“He is…” the boy starts.

“Gone.” Leia cuts in, sharply. The pain in her eyes last a couple second more but she is quick to change the subject. “Rey, I was thinking, in between the times you have to travel to Dronero, you could help with another crucial activity. Spreading what the resistance prints around the city. Those who are doing it already will instruct you but there is one important thing you will always have to keep in mind. You cannot be seen. You cannot be caught hanging posters or giving away things. You cannot be caught out after curfew. If you get arrested, I will not be able to help you anymore.” Rey feels a slight sense of dread and danger tightening her chest but she nods.

“I will do what is necessary”

“I’m sure you will.” Leia’s expression softens and she smiles at her.

"Can I join Rey?" queries Bibí abruptly. 

"Once you have your documents, if you want to, I don't see why not!" says Leia "But I think it's better if you lay low..." The record player is now spreading a booming male voice surrounded by what sound like all the instruments in the world. Rey recognises some of the words: “ _Te Deum laudamus: Te Dominum confitemur, Te aeternum Patrem, omnis terra veneratur_ ”. Her mother had sung them. It was the last day of the year and she had dragged a nine-year-old Rey to a church full of people as soon as the sky had darkened. Two grisly looking, black clad Militiamen had arrested Rey’s father that morning. Unpaid debts, they had claimed. Rey still clearly remembered the way they had yanked, and pulled and tossed him, and how he had tried to fight them away, punching and kicking. They had prevailed of course. He was a large man, but weakened by the constant alcohol abuse. She remembered the relief too. Relief that she would not see him in that perpetual state anymore, beating her mother or turning up home dishevelled and disgustingly dirty. That evening, Rey’s mother had insisted on going to church. She had sung for the first time in Rey’s nine years of life. And she had kept her close. Lulling her to sleep with a rocking motion while sitting on the church’s bench. She had a nice voice, her mother. Rey had woke up the next day on the very same bench. Alone. Feeling so cold in her thin clothes, she thought her bones would snap. She had sworn to herself that she would never set foot into a church again. Years later, Mario told her that her mother had given her body awayfor all that time in a brothel in Cuneo, and she had ended up being arrested too. ‘Crimes against Societal Moral’ as Ben had written in his letter. He must have researched her, the wretch. 

“Right,” Leia’s voice distracts Rey from her memories “Let’s go take care of your appearance then!” She raises from her armchair again and approaches her room’s door, keeping it open for Rey, who soon follows her.

-

Kylo briskly walks down the steps while adjusting his fez. Finally free again! Three full weeks of hospital had been more than enough to make him ache for movement. Across the street, he spots Hux, leaning against the usual black Fiat Balilla, smoking. Both grimace at the sight of the other.

“Snoke requires our presence, Lieutenant.” The red-haired Consul says, “I am telling you so you do not start imagining I’m doing this out of kindness for you.” Kylo scoffs and circles the car. He opens the passenger door and flops on the seat, hunching his shoulders. Hux stares at him with a disbelieving smirk on his face.

“Well then?” Kylo prods “Aren’t we awaited?” Hux sits behind the wheel and slams the door, then starts the car. Half an hour later, they reach the barracks and knock on Snoke’s door.

“Oh, my boy, it is a true pleasure to see you in such good shape!” the General hums, getting closer to the two soldiers. “What happened last month though is such a shameful, dishonourable event! That is the reason why I summened you both here." Snoke leans to the desk, searching for words. "I had assured that Kehrer’s men would be able to safely reach Cuneo, and had assigned you and your men to escort them in order to ensure it.” His pitch raises “You have no idea how many excuses I had to telegram, nor how many smug Wehrmacht and SS officers’ boots I was forced to lick because of your failure. Oh, but this is the last time it happens. And whatever went down with your precious source in Dameron’s squadron?”

Hux was relishing in Kylo’s demise, savouring every single word Snoke was hissing against the Lieutenant.

“They, hm, they left the squadron” Kylo murmurs, “They couldn’t be useful anymore.”

Snoke lets out a disdainful sneer “From now on, Hux will be in charge of the operations against the rebels on the mountains. And you…” Snoke pauses “…You will stay here thinking about how you let this happen. You will guide the propaganda surveillance unit. I do not want to see another anti-fascist pamphlet or poster around here. Did I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir. Perfectly clear” Kylo lowers his head.

“You are both dismissed” Snoke points towards the door. Kylo and Hux click their heels and salute, then leave the room. Hux proudly displays a smug grin. Kylo takes him by his collar and slams him against the wall of the corridor arising a yelp from the Consul.

“Drop the smirk Armitage…” He growls, “I will be curious to see how much you laugh in a few days. Enjoy the feeling now because I’m sure it will not last long.” Hux sneers in response and Kylo lets him go, watching his tall figure from behind as the the loud clacking of his heels filled the air while he marched down the corridor. It must be Snoke’s mention of that girl, Kylo thinks as he closes the door of his office behind him, and he would never admit it, but he kind of missed her letters. What would she think of him now? With that in mind, he leaves the office again and decides on some action to clear his thoughts. He would rent a boat and go rowing down the river.

-

“Oh, dear” Leia exclaims excitedly “This one suits you perfectly!” Rey smiles at seeing her so animated. It was a nice change. “Look, I have the perfect hat to go with it!” and she pulls out of a box a narrow brimmed straw hat with a flowery decoration on top. She places it on top of Rey’s freshly washed and curled hair and admires the result in the mirror from behind the girl. “Absolutely superb.” She smacks her lips and smiles widely. “No one will be able to see there’s a thinking brain and a tiger ready to fight under these silky chestnut waves of curls. It’s the ideal disguise.” Slightly dazed from all the attention Rey looks at herself in the mirror. She has to recognize that she has never looked nicer. It must be Leia’s mention of her son earlier, and she would never admit it, but she would very much like him to see her like this. What would he say of how she looked now? With that in mind, when she dresses into a nightgown later that evening, she checks on Bibí. He was already snoring so she bends forward on the bed and quietly opens the nightstand’s drawer. She picks the notebook up and starts reading from the first page.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay in posting the chapter, it was quite a busy week, hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> [ This](https://youtu.be/AKAB2S2PAbU) is the record I'm picturing Leia is listening to, a beautiful rarity! Tosca is such an amazing opera, truly enthralling, passionate, I couldn't resist inserting it in the story!


	10. When the goings get tough...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adventures are far from over for Rey, who has started helping with the printing and distributing of anti-fascist propaganda.

# Chapter 9

# When the goings get tough…

[](https://imgur.com/6oRfWqV)

The beginning of December had brought the temperatures down even further. Snow filled grey clouds were looming over Rey as she cycled through the empty streets in the dimming sunlight. Yesterday’s snow still lied almost untouched on the pavement, and on the road over which she was pushing her bicycle. “Do not worry, Miss,” Lucia had said that morning over a warm cup of very strong coffee when Rey had whined about the weather “It will get colder now and the snow will stop”.

No cars around. She had not met one since she had left Leia’s apartment forty minutes before. Curfew and the snow had worked their magic. Removing one gloved hand from the handle, she adjusts her scarf, which has fallen below her nose, and takes a quick turn. Checking behind her shoulders, just out of habit, she jumps down the bike right on the fresh snow of the pavement. No one else around. She walks along the tall red brick wall up to a worn out wooden gate and knocks three times.

“Password” says a female voice after a little while.

“Phoenix” recites Rey without hesitation. A pair of bright blue eyes appears through a sliding peephole. A loud series of clanks and bangs behind the door signal the opening of all the locks keeping the gate closed. Rey shoots a last glance around to see if she has been followed. Just then, a streetlamp at the end of the road turns on, and the sun completes its run for the day. When the gate is open wide enough, she sneaks in.

“Rey!” the girl behind the door exclaims excitedly, enveloping her in an enthusiastic embrace.

“Caterina!” smiles Rey. She still had a hard time believing she would be welcomed anywhere, let alone with such warmth, but the last couple of weeks had been a huge surprise for her in that regard. With a pang of guilt, she thinks of Finn, and Poe. They had not been as lucky as she had, with a cosy bed and a warm, hearty meal every day, that was for sure. The image of Rose’s round, kind face jumps into her mind as well, followed immediately by Han’s scruffy one and his lopsided smirk. What right did she have to complain about snow? Had the city life softened her? In just two weeks?

Caterina finally lets her go.

“I’m so glad to see you, Rey!” the girl begins to tell her as the two of them start walking in the large, dimly lit space. “Can you imagine? Roberto is angry with me today because I would not let him use the composing stick. You have to agree with me he is rubbish at it, and mistakes on the forms are not allowed, so I told him he should stick to inking. He replied I should be the one not to go near the composing stick because I would end up making a mess... Can you believe his nerve?” Rey chuckles as she observes her new friend talk about the young man she undoubtedly has a crush on. Funny how love manages to find its ways, regardless of anything else... “And then, a few minutes ago, the ‘Neby’ stopped working and now we have no idea how to repair it!” Caterina explains, visibly frustrated, referring to the printing machine.

“Let me have a look at it” Rey reassures her “I will see what I can do” Caterina’s face lights up “As I said, I’m so glad you’re here. I am utterly done with that boy’s nonsense!” They reach a door; Caterina taps the metal with the signal and opens it. Both girls jump when a loud clank resounds across the second, smaller room. Roberto emerges from behind the machine, ink stains all over his fustian trousers and his shirt. His rolled up sleeves uncover his equally dirty forearms. He is carrying a wrench.

“Rey!” he exclaims, lifting his right arm and trying to drench part of the sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand but only managing to stain himself even further “Thought you’d be here later!”

“Thought you’d have something for me earlier, today!” Rey reproaches, jokingly. All three of them chuckle. “Move, let me have a look at this pretty baby”. She reaches out and strokes the metal, walking around the feeder, then crouches right mid-length of the machine. Roberto walks away while wiping his hands and arms on a scrap of cloth that has definitely seen better days, and joins Caterina in front of the door. The hem of Rey’s skirt brushes slightly on the dusty floor as she checks the pedal and carefully inserts her arm in the square inspection window.

“I will need some more light…And different clothes. I can’t possibly work in these!” she points at her figure. Caterina laughs heartily.

“Come, I have a spare pair of trousers.”

Soon enough, Rey reappears. Her hair is now tied up and protected under a colourful cotton scarf and she has changed into a thick coverall she has found in the other room, abandoned on a chair. She walks back to the machine and observes the crumpled up paper around the roll and all the torn pieces of semi printed posters scattered around.

“Right...Let’s clean this mess up” she mumbles, removing them all. Caterina and Roberto jump to help her, and they soon manage to have a clear visual of the conveyor.

“So, the paper goes in, then as soon as it goes down towards the form, it tears up, crumples, and clogs the whole thing.” Explains Roberto. Rey hums “I need to see it in action”, she says as she taps on the feeder. She proceeds to switch the machine on and as soon as it warms up and the paper starts going in it, the torn sheets pile at the entrance and exit points. Rey quickly stops it again, cleans up, and reopens the inspection panel, trying to reach right where the paper goes down towards the form. She asks for a wrench and twists in the weirdest positions, arms and legs sticking out randomly out of the narrow chassis. Huffing emphatically Rey positions the portable oil lamp under the machine and stares at a point, while crouched, puzzling Roberto and Caterina. She tightens a bolt some more then: “There you go!” she announces triumphant. “Seems like the swing grippers were slightly misaligned, causing all the ruckus!” She turns the machine back on and the sheets start sliding seamlessly and perfectly inked. Her two friends stare at her in disbelief for a few moments then cheer loudly.

“You are a wonder!”

“How do you do it all the time?”

Rey laughs earnestly as she tries, unsuccessfully, to wipe the ink and grease from her hands with the same cloth Roberto had used earlier.

“Machines never lie; you just need to find out the issue!” Rey shrugs. She gets out of the coverall and tosses it on a nearby chair. “Any chance I could wash my hands? Caterina runs to a small shelf and grabs a glass bottle. “Here you go!” and pours it over a bucket for Rey. The stains just fade, they do not go away completely, but that is enough, for the moment.

“I think it’s best if I come back tomorrow, when there will be more material. What do you think?” says Rey. The other two agree so, after a quick goodbye, Rey takes the street again in the chilling night air.

It is when she is almost home that she spots the car approaching from behind, about five hundred metres away. The lights and rumbling noise are unmistakable. She starts pushing the pedals quicker and looks frantically around to find somewhere to hide. Her heart starts beating faster and fear grips her chest but then, on her left, she spots a narrow street, completely dark, and turns there just about in time. The car’s headlights nearly hit her. She breaks violently and takes a moment to breathe, hunched on the bike. That was frightfully near! Soon after, she reaches Leia’s apartment, trying to enter the building as quickly and silently as possible. When she closes the door behind her, she lets out a sigh of relief and leans on it for a second before hanging the keys near Leia’s pair. She takes her shoes off and goes to the room she is sharing with Bibí, quickly undresses, and finally crashes on the bed. A few seconds later, a light goes on in the corridor and someone gently taps on the door. Rey whines, but gets up and opens the door. It is Leia. Her hair is perfectly divided into equal portions by small cloth curlers and she is wearing a warm robe over a light rose nightgown, effortlessly elegant as always.

“Rey, hello. How did things go?” she asks. Rey yawns, her mouth opening so wide her eyes start to water.

“Uh, excuse me…” she manages to say, “Well the machine wasn’t working so I had to repair it and the material wasn’t ready, I will have to go and fetch it tomorrow”

“Right, I see” Leia answers “Then you will have to move in the morning because I need you to go to the valley tomorrow, I will explain it all to you when you’ve rested”

“Right…” Rey whispers.

“Good night, Rey” Leia murmurs back “See you tomorrow.” and she waltzes away. Rey stumbles towards the bed and crushes on it again, falling sound asleep soon after.

-

“Ben?” a warm male voice calls as Kylo is walking down the street along the barrack’s wall in the early afternoon. They couldn’t possibly be calling him. “Ben Solo, is that you?” Gosh, they really were calling him! Kylo turns his head towards the voice.

“Tai!” Kylo’s jaw drops. He had not seen the man facing him in years. His icy blue eyes stared into his, eluding every attempt he made of averting his gaze. A brown trilby hat covered his bald head and he was wrapped in a thick, finely tailored, honey coloured coat. His right hand reaches out towards Kylo. Before he can order it not to do it, Kylo’s black-gloved hand shakes Tai’s brown-gloved one.

“I, um… You look well…” Kylo mumbles.

“My textile factory has been pretty successful, you know? Military supplier…” Tai straightens his shoulders “Look at you, though, Ben, Republican Guard?”

“Yeah, hm… I’ve been in the Militia ever since… You know…Leaving school”

Tai’s eyes turn sad. “I see…” he lowers his head, “I hoped you hadn’t actually gone through with it…”

Kylo sneers, irritated. “Oh, really? What was I supposed to do, uh? I couldn’t keep living with them! Not after they had kept such a thing from me!”

Tai’s hand shoots towards Kylo again “Oh Ben, I am sure if you had talked to them…”

Kylo brusquely pushes his hand away and takes a step back “No! I had the right to know! They never talked to me! I…” He is properly yelling by now, the veins in his neck dangerously swelled up with all the pent up anger “Do not call me Ben. I am Kylo Ren now!” he hisses, getting closer and pointing a finger at him. Tai just stares. Kylo retreats his finger, his lips are parted as if he wants to say more. He does not. Tai shakes his head.

“I’m sorry, Ben. Truly am…” his arm raises again but stops mid-air. They stand still for a few moments, unable to look each other in the eyes.

“Goodbye…” Tai lets out in a hiccup. Kylo briefly lifts his eyes while his old friend walks away. Once Tai is gone, he noisily lets out all the air he had kept in while trying to bury the pain of this new farewell as deep as possible.

A few seconds later, he is striding in the entrance hall of the barracks when Trudgen, a burly clerk, approaches him.

“Sir! You had asked me to let you know if the name Skywalker ever came up or if anyone would go visit Han Solo…"

“Well?” Kylo prods, impatient.

“A certain Amelia Skywalker has been arrested an hour ago after visiting Solo. Anti-fascist posters were found in her possession. When I was alerted about her, I instructed a couple of men to follow her. They searched the girl once she was far enough from the prison.” Kylo smirks.

“Thank you for informing me! Where is that woman now?”

“At the central police station. An officer named Gallo is in charge. I can phone him to bring her here…”

“That sounds good. Do it!” Kylo nods and dismisses him, then runs to his office. He needed to think. Who could she be? He knew no Amelia from his uncle’s side. He had to see for himself.

-

Rey curses under her breath. She is sitting in a dark, cold cell, revisiting the events of the day to try and understand where it had all gone wrong. Keys rattle in the keyhole and she gets on her feet from the bench, growling with frustration.

“Easy there!” instructs the black clad police officer once he gets in. As he says that, he drags her to the door. Rey squirms, trying to free her upper arm from his hold, but the movement makes her cuffed wrists ache. She gets pushed through the station and down the large entrance staircase, to a car. The officer unceremoniously shoves her on the back seat.

“Hey, watch your manners young fella!” Rey protests, trying to sound as whiny and posh as possible. ‘Remember’, she thinks, ‘you are Amelia Skywalker’.

Soon after, a second officer gets in, starts the car and begins driving through the city. She still knows so little about Torino that she has absolutely no idea where they are bringing her and that thought actually manages to make her feel worse than being in custody itself. She silently curses again. She was supposed to be leaving for the valley! Leia will be worried sick, and people were counting on her to deliver the orders. What a mess! To think the morning had started so well with Rose and Finn’s letters… (Poe’s one to Leia too actually!) They were all well, which was a huge relief, and the guerrilla actions were proving successful. More and more people were joining them! Mainly to avoid being conscripted by the Republican Guard, Poe had told them, but who cares? After a little while, their conviction became rock solid. Leia had quickly instructed Rey on where to go and she had explained that theirs was not the only partisan group but other, more politically driven ones, had recently taken example from them. Rey’s heart was full of hope while leaving the apartment and on a whim, she had decided to try to visit Han to give him some of that hope. Relieved that they would allow the meeting, Rey had sat for what seemed hours on the edge of a frail looking chair in the dimly lit parlour. She had gasped when they had brought him in. He looked like a ghost, no, the shell of a ghost. Thin, bruised, filthy, and dead-eyed. She had never seen anyone in such a dreadful state, not even her father in his worst moments.

“Oh, Han” she had whispered, her eyes welling up.

“Rey?” his voice was a raucous mutter “What the hell are you doing here?” he had simply kept standing there, staring at her.

“I just…” she had gone closer, but he had taken a step back and had pinned his eyes to the floor.

“You stupid girl…” he had added, “Who the hell is this? I do not know her!” he had then yelled with a snarl and he had been quickly brought away.

Teardrops sting at the corner of her eyes as the car continues its run. Of course, she realizes. He had been arrested for treason. Anyone who would try to contact him would be suspected as well. How could she have been so stupid? She must have been followed. She must have guided the police directly to Caterina and Roberto. Bloody hell, she was a fool. Rey goes breathless; dread and guilt weigh on her chest so hard, she feels like a massive rock is sitting on it. The tears finally stain her cheeks. No! She will not let them see her like this! She sniffles quietly and cleans her face on a handkerchief she manages to sneak out of her skirt’s pocket. ‘I am Amelia Skywalker, widowed wife of Luke Skywalker, and they have to treat me with the respect fit for a woman of my stature.’ she repeats to herself like a mantra as the car stops. More steps, more opened doors, more men in uniform. Rey tries to steady her breathing rhythm, controlling it, while walking between the two officers. The building swarms with people and the officer in front of her is now simply showing her the way, avoiding all contact. The second one walks behind her, making her glimpse over her shoulder regularly. They finally bring her to a long corridor. Sunlight falls in copiously from the windows on Rey’s left. She then notices the row of doors on her right. The officer behind her pushes her forward with a forceful nudge on her back and she slightly stumbles. They stop in front of a door and Rey clears her throat, ready to play the role.

“Come in” says a muffled voice from behind the door. Rey pushes the officer’s hand aside, lowers the handle and marches in.

“I am thoroughly distressed,” she exclaims in a very high pitch “and disappointed! I demand an explanation for the barbaric treatment I am subjected to…” the words die in her throat. The man sitting at the desk in front of her, with Rey’s same bewildered look in his wide, brown eyes, is Kylo Ren.

-

_Ben moves a curl away from Ian’s forehead after tucking him in._

_“Are you excited about meeting grandma Leia in a few weeks?”_

_“Yes, daddy!” he grins at the prospect “We will travel by train, right?”_

_“Definitely!” Ben answers._

_“So what did you do when you saw mum? Were you happy?”_

_“Oh” Ben blushes “Well, I …”_

_“Time to sleep!” Rey walks into the bedroom._

_“Right, we’ll go on another day, okay?” Ben softly says to Ian. He gets up from Ian’s side and gently kisses Rey on a cheek “I’ll be right back”. “Don’t take too long” Rey coos “The bed is cold without you!” She kisses Ian goodnight, takes her robe off and tiptoes towards the bed, shivering. A few minutes later Ben joins her and wraps her right away in a tight hug. She snuggles against him, and sighs contentedly as she rests her head in the crook of his neck. No one else could make her feel that safe. No one._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry, this chapter has taken me ages! Hope you enjoy it ♥
> 
> The ["Neby"](http://exmachina.lyon.fr/letterpress/751.htm) is a printing machine by the company Nebiolo from Torino, one of the city's oldest and biggest industrial prides together with Fiat! It was known worldwide. It sadly was reduced to a shell of itself and closed in 1993.
> 
> YES that is Yul Brinner, standing in as Tai. That's exactly how I picture a grown up Tai. I couldn't resist inserting him, his charachter broke my heart in "The Rise of Kylo Ren". If I have to be honest I kind of wanted to make Caterina and Roberto as Ahsoka and Ezra, despite the timeline clash, then decided against it... What do you think, would they have worked?


	11. ... The tough get going

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo face each other for the third time and neither will have a good time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: I am trying to keep things fairly light and I don't want to give plot points away too much, but this chapter and the following (especially the next one, which I still have not completed) may be a hard read if violence against women is a trigger for you or a topic you want to avoid. I want to reassure you, there will be no rape, but one scene will feature an assault.

# Chapter 10

# “… The tough get going”

  


  


[](https://imgur.com/DHrJqiN)

  


  


“You!” Kylo hisses while striding towards Rey.

“Yes, me!” Rey snaps back, forgetting any poise or calm.

“What the **hell** are you doing here?” he asks, turning towards the officer who was staring at them trying to figure out what was going on “There must be a mistake Gallo, I thought you had arrested Amelia Skywalker”

“That was the name on the documents, Sir…,” the man confirms.

“Leave us.” Kylo dismisses him with a quick wave of the hand towards the door “I will take care of… this” and his eyes turn towards Rey once more, glistening with fury. No, he did not get to be angry at her, Rey thinks, shooting back at him an equally rage-filled glance. As soon as the door closes behind Gallo, both of them bolt towards the other.

“What the hell are _you_ doing here?” Kylo asks again, this time stressing that you as if he was talking about an insect he wanted to crush under his boot.

“You loathsome, evil bastard!” Rey whispers, quivering with the urge of hitting him,. Anywhere would do; the sheer size of him holds the still functioning rational part of her awake enough for that not to happen though. “What is it?” She goes on when she sees him gasp “You thought that a _lowly mountain peasant_ like me would never be able to even reach Torino, did you?” He scoffs at her words, taking one more step towards her “Or is it my language?”

“Still with Dameron then, are you, Rey?” He snarls, “Still deluding yourself with the idea that what you miserable bandits do is enough to defeat not only the Republican army, but the German one too?”

“Oh, do I really need to remind you about what happened last month?” Rey’s gaze wanders on his face as his scarred right eye twitches slightly at the memory. Right, so something could put a dent in his façade. She maybe was not deluding herself, as he had just _so kindly_ said, in thinking of him as a dormant volcano. Yes, a volcano was how she could describe him best. A thick layer of rock protecting a bubbling river of emotional lava.

“I met your father earlier today,” she whispers, trying to enlarge the tiny dent, but she soon realizes her mistake when he grabs her by her left arm. Of course, an eruption can be very dangerous if you are too close… Kylo drags her to one of the chairs in front of his desk. “He did not look good, Ben…” Rey goes on as he pushes her down on the chair. She had to try… “He did not look good at all. If you could do something to take him out of there…” she yelps when he yanks her arms behind her back and cuffs her wrists. He points a finger to her face, leaning towards her so close she could smell him, again. Leather, wool and a very faint, vague scent of lavender, just the hint of it. The closeness makes her go dizzy. She inhales deeply, closes her eyes for a second to regain her composure, then she opens them again to find him staring at her; so she stares back.

“Do not talk about my fath…about Han Solo,” he utters, searching her gaze with piercing intensity “and do not call me Ben.” She does not look away so they keep gawking at each other for several moments.

“As you wish.” Rey says quietly, finally breaking the silence. She wanted to scream at him. How could he not realize how fortunate he had been having Han and Leia as parents? How could he betray them that way, how could anyone willingly leave their family... She barely manages not to make her voice shake with rage. “Then let’s talk about the hundreds of thousands of soldiers who got sent to die as war prisoners in Germany before Mussolini got rescued by his moustachioed Nazi friend in September…” Kylo shakes his head “No? Right…Then maybe, you would prefer talking about the people’s dreadful situation ever since the war has begun. Many are starving! Including the children that you once claimed are the party’s priority!” Kylo starts subtly growling.

“You cannot expect…” he mumbles “It is not an easy task…They are doing their best…”

Rey cannot help herself “Their best?” She screams, “People are dying Ben! What for? So they can live in luxury?” Kylo walks away and starts pacing back and forth behind her back. She tries turning her head but she can’t. “We all know how rich those in power have become! They have blood on their hands and a conscience blacker than coal. Nothing can justify the pain, the hunger, the humiliation… Nothing justifies going into another war after the way the other one ended... You are defending a bunch of greedy traitors who just want more power for _their_ own sake! They could not care less about the people! They are just power hungry scaremongers!”

“No Rey, you don’t understand!” he exclaims, facing her again “The way that war ended is the exact reason why Italy needs to raise its head again, demonstrate its greatness! The goal, by the way, is providing for everyone but there were a few obstacles to get rid of first…” His eyes glimmer, two dark pools of wickedness, and Rey does not enjoy it one bit despite the sheer magnetic power they have on her.

“Yeah…like everyone who didn’t see things the same way? They founded OVRA way before the war, Ben! Just to mention the most obvious one ” A brief silence follows “What about the people of Eritrea dying for the outrageous prospect of a new Roman Empire? And yes, I have learnt quite a bit since we last met!” she adds, seeing his stunned expression. As he goes on again about restoring lost glory and national pride the thought of Finn’s lucky escape from the Militia, where he had been forced to serve under the very same people who thought of him as a lesser being, emboldens her for the final strike. “I will also never be able to find adequate words for what Jews are going through…” she pauses and holds her breath, waiting for his reaction, which is not long in coming.

“What did you just say?” he growls through gritted teeth.

“Ben, I…” She gulps “I know…” He shakes his head and takes a step back.

“What?” His restrained voice actually scares Rey infinitely more, than if he had screamed into her face “What is it that you know?”

“I know about your mother, about you, about what happened...” Kylo’s right eye twitches again as he resumes staring relentlessly at Rey, looking as if he wants to break her, his knuckles become white as his hands curl into fists.

“Whatever you think you know, it is none of your business, and you should stay out of it.” He answers. His tone is even but ferociously menacing.

“I swear, I didn’t mean to find out, it happened by chance, I...” Rey blurts out apologetically and then remembers his letters, their tone, his research on her... “You instead did it on purpose, didn’t you? Looking me up. It must be your usual way ...” Her voice gives in and shakes a bit, she clears her throat and goes on “Think about it; your Leaders’ fear of any dissidence is such a blatant tell tale of the dirty conscience they all have. The more they will close their grip though, the more people will slip through their fingers... This war has already opened many eyes.” He smirks as a response.

“Who told you all this nonsense? Dameron?”

“No, Ben, it was your mother...” The mention of Leia seems to remind him of her earlier confession and his eyes turn to dark, deep pools of rage again.

“Leia Organa” he spits out the name with so much venom Rey almost shudders

“Is a woman who deeply regrets anything that...” she interjects.

“She lied to me!” He barks, interrupting her “for sixteen years! And my fath... Han Solo too!”

“Of course they did, Ben! Even I can understand that they were scared of your reaction!” Rey interjects “And judging by how it went, they were right…”

“You know nothing!” He shouts, “They purposely hid the shameful truth of her origins from me!” He slams a fist on the desk, startling Rey but his voice lowers to a barely hearable whisper “They never really cared about me...”

“You ungrateful, whiny wretch!” She cannot help exclaiming, unable to contain herself anymore “You know full well how I grew up, since you dipped your hawk like nose into my life,” Rey bends forward, closer to him “and you dare talk to me of parents who don’t care about you?” She pants, locking eyes with him again, trying to catch a glimpse of the boy whose innermost thoughts had been entrusted to the pages of a small, unassuming little diary, never meant to be read by anybody else.

  


Her mention of the size of his nose deflects the sharp answer on the tip of his tongue. What did that have to do with anything? She also was the second person that day to advocate for his mother. It had actually been a long time since he had thought about his parents, but he didn’t seem to be able to escape them at present. Rey was now also the only person outside of his close family, and Tai, to know his secret and that thought was deeply unsettling. Would she use it against him? No, he concludes, she won’t do that. She felt so whole to him, so sure of who she was. What motivated her though? What was her goal? What moved her actions?” He takes a step back to consider her, then averts his gaze from her warm hazel eyes. All tousled and scruffy looking, despite the fine attire, Rey raises an eyebrow and her nose scrunches up. ‘What moves me?’ the thought hits his conscience as quick and sudden as a lightning.

“Ben…” Rey whispers, distracting him from his thoughts, “She never talked to me about you, but I am sure Leia still loves you, and wants you back…”

“You are wrong…” he lightly shakes his head. “That is impossible. Tell me, has she ever mentioned having a son and a husband? No? All she cares about, all she has ever cared about is politics.” An inexplicable feeling, maybe the fact Rey seems to be really listening, urges him to explain further, “When I was younger, she was away all the time, organizing events and literary salons at the Organa Manor, her family heirloom out there in the Monferrato hills. Father wasn’t much of a social person, he avoided as many of those as possible, and roamed the gutters of the city for friends from his old life...” Rey puts on a confused expression “You thought you knew it all, didn’t you?” he smirks again, turns his back to her and walks to the window. “He was a smuggler, long ago. Weapons, liquors, art… all you can think about...Then he met Mother, while attempting to rob said Manor. He owed someone money and they made him do it. Picture them, Leia Organa, adoptive daughter of Senator Bail Organa and Han Solo, smuggler and thief.” The faintest hint of amusement tugs at the corners of his lips “She actually knocked him out with a vase that night...”

  


Rey observes his expression rapidly transform back into his usual stony one.

“So it is true then. You really think you had a hard life! I did not think I could despise you more than I already do! Look at you, a grown man behaving like a whiny, spoiled brat!” she raises her eyes again to meet his and tries to gulp, her throat feels dry as paper but she cannot stop. She does not want to stop. “Boohoo, my mother and father are rich and leave me with nanny all the time!” His jaw visibly clenches and his hands curl into fists again “I can only play with all these toys I have what an unjust life I had...”

“Enough!” his order booms through the empty room. A sudden shudder shoots through Rey like lightning. Had she gone too far? Perhaps. God he was infuriating. Without a word, he takes two steps towards her and grabs her upper right arm. The sudden contact makes her jolt.

“What are you doing? Let me go!”

“Get up.” His tone is dry and cold.

“No!”

“Get. Up.” He repeats through gritted teeth.

“You can’t!”

“Actually, I can. You are now under arrest for sedition and treason. I don’t need any further proof to arrest you than the posters found in your possession, and you will stand up.” She freezes at his words, too shocked to react. Enthralled in the conversation with him, she had completely forgotten the reason why she was there in the first place. Fear washes over her like a cold shower. She does not even register him picking up the receiver of the black phone on his desk. He calls for her to be taken away, gives the two officers who arrive her full, real, name and they walk on both sides of her.

“No, no, no!” she starts screaming at the top of her lungs as soon as they touch her. The chair rattles under her frantic movements “Let me go!” Startled by her vehemence, they struggle to hold her at first but they soon grab her arms and yank her away from the chair, her wrists still cuffed behind her back. She starts kicking as well but all her efforts are in vain. They manage to bring her across the room, where Kylo is awaiting by the door. He grabs her chin, silencing her screams.

“Shut up, missy, you’re not making a good show of yourself.” He whispers meeting her eyes again with an intensity she finds unsettling “You had it coming. You should have stayed up in the mountains; this game is too big for you.” She frees her face from his hold and spits, centring the area right under the nose. His whole face scrunches up, deformed by fury. A moment later, his hand descends on her right cheek with a quick swirl. The burn his fingers leave is scorching and she cannot soothe it. Meanwhile, the anger inside her reaches new heights she did not think she had in herself. Her whole mind is a raging fire.

“Take her away” he snarls, and opens the door. The two officers push her through the door and drag her along corridors her eyes do not even see.

  


After slamming the door, Kylo grabs the first thing his hand reaches on his desk and flings it through the room with a growling scream. Then sits on his chair, head between the hands. A soft knock on his door makes him raise his head again.

“Come in”. The door opens and the chiselled face of his mentor appears on the threshold.

“My boy, I heard some sort of commotion coming from your office. Is everything in order?”

“Yes, Sir.” Kylo promptly answers while getting up to salute him “Everything is under control now. I was simply interrogating a suspect who has been found in possession of seditious propaganda. They are now being taken into custody.”

Snoke reaches the spot where Kylo’s fountain pen had landed when he had thrown it across the room, and slowly picks it up. He graciously occupies the chair Rey had been on earlier and crosses his long legs while placing the pen back on the desk.

“I see...” he responds, looking around “must have been a tough one.” Unsure if admitting it would mean praise or not Kylo simply nods. “Nothing my best man couldn’t handle” Snoke purrs, “I am very glad to see you back in shape, my boy. Well done, well done.” He gets up as nonchalantly as he had sit and moves towards the door “Now I have to go back to my tasks, join me later so you can tell me all about this arrest.”

He exits, leaving behind a strong whiff of cologne, which makes Kylo wince. He then bows his head into his hands again.

  


-

  


_Ben lowers the pen after signing the letter._

_“Done?” Rey asks him while wiping the table. He nods._

_“I will post it tomorrow morning.” Rey bites her lip “Ben, I didn’t want to worry you more than you already are so I have avoided the topic, but there is something I want to talk about.” Rey says while taking a couple steps toward him “Ian has seemed to me a bit off to me this last couple of days, ever since we told him about the day you had arrested ne. Maybe we should try and talk to him about it?” His dismayed expression makes her instantly regret having brought it up “Don’t worry Ben,” she hastens to add, “I’m sure we will be able to make him understand”_

_“Rey I...” he raises his eyes to meet hers and the sorrow she can read in him is devastating._

_“I am sorry, so sorry!” he howls, starting to sob and shake violently. She runs to him and rests his head on her heart “I am a horrible person and I will never deserve the love you give me!”_

_“Shush, Ben, that’s nonsense... Please, stop crying, I can’t take it!” she gurgles. They are both a mess of tears right now._

_“Remembering what happened is like living it again and sometimes I feel like suffocating, thinking that I was like that, that I did not have you and Ian… I don’t think before meeting you I was properly alive, Rey!”_

_“Ben…” she cries out “Listen to me because what I am about to say is very important. I don’t think I ever told you before but seeing you like this breaks my heart…” she pauses to cup his cheeks with her hands and look him in the eyes, gently wiping the tears away with her thumbs “the person you are now was always inside you. Kylo Ren is you. Ben Solo is you. You are one and whole. We both lived through a war, which has shattered consciences and souls all around the world, including ours. You are not a lesser person because of what happened during that time, do you hear me?” They both sniffle._

_“Thank you, my love…” he whispers, chuckling lightly and circling her waist with his arms “You know what makes it worse? That I still recall how convinced I was, how sure!”_

_“It’s called indoctrination, Ben… They started drilling those awful ideas in children’s minds from the first day of school remember?”_

_“No, Rey, it wasn’t only that… I grew up with Leia Organa; I sucked milk and antifascism from her bosom ever since I was born.” He stares blankly in front of him “The truth is I felt so alone. I resented them; and I purposefully chose to do what would make them feel the worst. However, I lost myself, blinded by my anger. Snoke’s reasoning felt so clear and right when I was sixteen.” Rey stiffens at the mention of Ben’s mentor. Feeling that, he gently strokes her arm “He felt like the guide I thought I needed.” He sighs and shakes his head “I was so wrong, so wrong…” He rests his forehead right under her breasts._

_“I can’t believe we had not talked about this yet” she lets out with a watery chuckle._

_“We were too busy living, sweetheart…” He raises his head and smiles at her. A sudden noise makes them both turn towards the door, where a teary-eyed Ian is standing. They shoot a worried look at each other, then Rey reaches out to invite him to join them, but he runs away along the corridor. Both follow him to the bedroom, and they find him lying on the bed with his back turned away from the door._

_“Ian…” Rey calls. He seems to be sniffling lightly. Rey and Ben sit on the edge of the bed, right behind him and she puts a hand on the boy’s shoulder, calling him again._

_He suddenly turns to face them._

_“Do you love each other?” Ian asks. His expression is serious and focused._

_“Of course!” they both answer._

_“Good.” He solemnly declares, and turns his back to them again. Ben feels Rey squeeze his hand and both get up, leaving the boy to his thoughts. Once back in the kitchen, he stops Rey from going back to clean the table and wraps her in a tight hug._

_“Thank you, my love” He repeats, “I would still be lost without you!” She smiles and raises on the tips of her toes, wrapping her arms around his neck._

_“And I would still be alone” she whispers, planting a kiss on his lips “So thank you too!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness me, it took so long to complete this chapter, I'm so sorry! I was absolutely exhausted from work most of the time, so thank you SO MUCH for your patience and for continuing to read. I am very grateful to every one of you who finds something in this story. What is for sure is that Rey and Ben have my heart and soul and ever since I started writing this story I think I love them even more (if possible.) I did not say it before, but if anything here squicks you or triggers you do let me know and I will add it in the tags or add a warning on the top with the notes like I did here. I am very new to the fic world and there are still so many things I'm sure I don't know about the do's and don'ts. I will also be glad to answer any historically related questions or curiosites, I am enjoying the research this story pushes me to do a lot so if you want/need, I'll be here :) 
> 
> \--> [Here ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OVRA)is some more information about OVRA, Fascist Italy's Secret Police


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